The Black Cat

Chapter 7: Desire

The 7 and a half hour flight to London felt short, considering how strange Selvig was acting. I kept asking him if he was okay but he would ask me the same, questioning my own sanity from working with Loki. I guess it was understandable for him to ask, but it felt I should be asking him more. He didn't sit normally, he sat with his legs to his chest in his seat, slightly shaking while staring into nothingness. Occasionally, he would laugh to himself and not explain why. At the last hour of the flight, he was writing while he laughed. I got tired of asking him if he was okay considering I got the same damn answer. I didn't even notice I was playing with the necklace in my fingers. Once I did I let it fall back onto my chest and moved my hand to my knee. I didn't know where he was now, but I knew he was watching. I could feel it quite honestly, which was strange. I was sure if I should feel him watching but it felt like he was. I could sense him smirking at my thoughts, my idiotic thoughts. I had no clue if he knew everything about me now. I wouldn't exactly be shocked knowing what he could do. He threatened me, he forced me into things, he played with me internally. He played with my feelings, my mind, my sanity. Yet I still crave for it. I don't know what it was. It was almost like a spell, a trance. Whatever it was captivated my soul and I wanted more. I didn't know what this feeling was that sure wasn't love, or lust of any kind. It felt like obsession. Taking me slowly, piece by piece until there was none of me left to devour. I longed for his presence, I didn't know why, but at the same time I didn't want him. I wanted to stay as far away as I could. He used me, abused me and only wanted me for protection. I was a toy to him and now in his disposal. He was probably seeing me right now, listening to my thoughts of suffering from him. And he was loving it. His usage of me was sickening but also alluring. He seems so innocent at times and then at the same time he killed millions. There were times when he opened up to me, saying he was lost and felt unloved. But he use that pain to harm others and nearly myself. I cared I really did, but the same time I felt like I had to hate him. What was going on in my mind?

The plane landed in London at 9:30 in the morning. I could easily say I was exhausted, and I was sure so they could say the same, but we had to stay awake. We met a girl outside the airport, glasses on her face and a beanie on her head waiting for Selvig and I. They hugged exchanged hellos while I stood to the side awkwardly. She then turned to me, slightly confused why I was there. "Are you Jane Foster?" I ask. The girl snorts, shaking her head. "Nah, I'm Darcy. I'm her intern. Who are you?" "I'm Agent Tagan. I was sent here to work with Selvig and Jane Foster. Also, Sparkplug kinda forced me to watch over Jane," I explain. Darcy nods, looking at me. "I like you already. Lego." She gets in the car, which Selvig and I follow. The car roars to life and we drive off and into London. I look up at the morning sky the sun shining above the city while tons of people walk the sidewalk in cars fly by on the road. The city is lively, more people adding to the mix the farther we go. Some walked alone while others flock together as friends. The crowds gathered up more and more when we passed bigger places. I looked at them all well they all communicated to each other. As we passed one group I looked at them and for a second, I swore to myself that I saw Loki. He smirked as he saw me look at him in complete shock. But when I blinked and looked again, he wasn't there. I sat back in my chair, closing my eyes and letting the anxiety go away. I was tense and I don't know why, but I couldn't stop it whatever it was. I took a breath and look out the window once more. I let the positive vibes get to me to calm me down. We stopped at a light and as people cross, I see him again in the middle of the road and before I can reject it I see him get hit by a car. I say nothing, not wanting to seem crazy, but it looks so real. No one is reacting, which meant it wasn't real, right? His blood starts flooding the street as I watch with wide eyes in my own living nightmare. But as I blink again, the horror before me is gone. I sigh of relief as the light turns green and we drive off again.

Darcy parks the car and we all pile out as she leads us into an apartment building. "Just a forewarning," She says, "Jane has been pretty down lately, especially after seeing Thor in New York. So, keep the protecting thing on the down low." I give her a thumbs up as she turns to unlock the door. We walk in and I see a woman on the couch in her pajamas watching TV. "Jane, I brought people." The woman quickly turns to us and smiles when she sees Erik. She stands and goes to greet him before turning to me. "Hello," she says in a melancholy tone, "who might you be?" "I am agent Jackie Tagan of SHIELD. I was sent to work with you and Dr. Selvig for..." I look down at her pajamas before looking back at her, "Scientific work." She nods, embarrassed. She then gets a better look at me, looking at me like she knew me from somewhere. "You were with Loki, in New York City." I nodded, pursing my lips. "You make it sound like it's such a bad thing." "It kind of is," she remarks. "Not when you don't have a choice and you're being watched by him right now." They all looked at me in awe as I nodded to confirm their questioning. They all remained silent after that. "So why are we here? What are we studying?" I ask. Jane sighs, looking over at Darcy. "Do you want to tell her?" Darcy shakes her head, giving the floor to Jane. "I stopped studying, I've pretty much given up." My eyes widen, now angry. "I came all this way for a Level 7 mission, for nothing?" I question. Jane nods, looking rather disappointed in herself. I scoff, clenching my fists. "I cannot believe this," I express. "It's alright," Jane says, "You can just go back." I shake my head. "You don't understand, I'm stuck on this mission for 6 months," I reply. Jane then bites her lip, trying to think of what to do. "Maybe you and Erik can do the research," She suggests, "Like I said, I'm done with that kind of stuff."

I take a breath, looking at her and wondering if I should punch her. I don't and nod, then look over at Erik, who was swaying where he stood. "Do you want to sit down?" He nods his head and grabs my shoulder, entrusting me to help him to a seat. I walk him to a chair, where he drops himself onto as my phone began to ring. I pick it up and walk into another room. "Hello?" I ask. "Hey Jackie, it's Steve." I blink, looking at the contact number. "Hi grandpa, how'd you get my number?" "Stark gave me your file," he responds. I move my free arm in a confused motion. "Why did he give you my file?" I interrogate. "I asked for it," he continues. I blush, flattered by his interest in me. "Okay," I go on, still sounding confused, "Isn't it like 5 in the morning over there? Shouldn't you be asleep?" I hear him chuckle. "I was asleep for seventy years, mom. Let me live a little." I scoff playfully, acting offended. "Well look at Captain Sass over here. Have I been rubbing off on you already?" "You could say that," He says. "So," I start, "Can I ask why the sudden phone call?" I hear him smile on the other side of the call. "I don't know," He speaks, "I started thinking about you and decided to call." I laugh inwardly. "Steve, did you get your first phone?" Silence was on the other side for a few seconds while I waited for my suspicion to be confirmed. "Yes," he confirms. I laugh out loud, knowing my thoughts were turning out to be right. "Am I your first call?" I request. "Possibly." I laugh more. "Well, I'm honored. Just don't break the phone with your strong grip. They don't come cheap." Cap snorted. "You're telling me, Jackie." I lean against the wall, my focus only on the call. "How long are you in London?" He inquires. I sigh, remembering the sad truth. "6 months. Why? Missing me already?" I smirk. "No, just seeing how long I have until I get to beat you up again." I chuckle. "Hey, I call rematch on that. You distracted me." I hear him groan jokingly. "I used my charm." I giggle, running a hand in my hair. "You're going to need that charm when I come back to beat you up in 6 months."

"Jackie! Come here!" I hear Darcy call from the other room. "Just a sec!" I call back. "I've got to go. Besides, you got some practicing to do if you plan on trying to beat me." He laughs again. "Alright, I'll talk to you later, short stuff." I hang up and walk into the other room, ready for the 6 months to be over already.