oppa! • #jungri

Chapter 9: They're Hiding Something

JUNGKOOK

"Eomma, did I like used to suffer from amnesia before? Like I've forgotten things and somehow had a past I cannot remember?" I asked my mom after minutes of staring at her making dinner.

I went to the kitchen because curiousity got to me. It felt impossible for me not to remember a thing - much more an important person from my childhood but if ever I did, I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't keep it from me.

My mom suddenly stopped cutting onions and snapped her head to me. She suddenly shifted on her position and felt uncomfortable, as if her back was itchy and she couldn't reach it so she can do nothing about it.

"W-why are you asking that so sudden, honey?" She asked trying to conceal every bit of uneasiness she's feeling.

She's hiding something.

"Just curious. I have this schoolmate and she's claiming I'm her bestfriend but I cannot remember her," I said truthfully. She shuddered at my remark. Her eyes were wary and her hands were shaking.

"Mom, are you okay?" I asked and went to her. She was shaking badly I'm afraid she'd pass out. Mother was able to collect herself and leaned on to the sink.

She looked up at me, her eyes brimming with tears. My heartbeat rose and I had the sudden urge to comfort her.

She shook her head. "It's nothing, baby. It's just because of the onions - they make me tear up a little. Why don't you just go back to your room and I'll call you once the dinner is ready, hmm?" she suggested. Her tone was so soft that if you weren't focused enough on what she's saying, you wouldn't understand it.

I knew she's lying and seeing her get uncomfortable with the topic only suggests that she's not ready to open up. I nodded and pushed myself to walk and go to my room.

I did not know why my mom responded like that. Her actions earlier rung in my mind until I reached my room. I closed the door behind me and sat at the corner of the bed, earning the four walls of the room a slight creaking sound.

I stared at the wall for a solid few minutes before getting up and walked over to my guitar case. I took out the instrument that caused a slight strum from my touch before going back to bed again.

I sat down and crouched, placing the guitar on my lap. I moved both of my hands to their rightful place and suddenly, all the running thoughts inside my mind cleared. My mind that was once in a haywire was still and quiet, as if the only thought that comes into it was the next chord of the song.

I closed my eyes and started strumming. I have been working on the song for months and it has not been completed yet, the lyrics as well as the melody were put together by me — I created a song because of my frustrations in life. All my blurred dreams, my headaches, Kim Yerim, and all the truth that are yet to be discovered.

My mind runs away to you
With the thought I hope you'll see
Can't see where it's wandered to
But I know where it wants to be

I'm waiting patiently though time is moving slow
I have one vacancy and I wanted you to know that...

I opened my eyes as words that once fell out of my lips easily suddenly became unclear. The lyrics are still not complete and I have not made the title yet. It was still unstructured and will remain as that as I have not actually composed a song wholly yet.

"Jungkook-ah! Your father's here, come down and let us eat!" I heard eomma shouting from below.

"A moment!" I shouted back.

I heaved a deep sigh before letting my guitar and my notebook filled with scrambling rest at my bed.

I came down, my bare foot not causing a sound against our marbled floor. As I neared the dining kitchen, I heard an exchange of silent murmurs that belonged to hushed voices. My mom and dad. They were talking as if they're afraid that their conversation is heard.

Curiosity got the best of me. I hid in a bookshelf fast enough before they could see me, they were on their backs so they wouldn't notice that they're being spied on by their only son.

"Changnam, he's remembering," my mother said in a harsh tone. I cannot see it but I knew her mouth was twitching as if she's eaten a spicy delicacy.

"What? How? Why?" my father asked.

"I think he's met Yeri," my mother replied and my father shuddered as a response. Silence fell to the both of them as if they're thinking deeply of the situation.

I stood there, my foot glued on the floor. They know Yeri even though I have not mentioned her to them. My hands curled and my knuckles turned white, my nails digging onto my palms harshly that I know will leave a crescent mark.

I closed my eyes and released a low growl.

I opened them and plastered a smile across my face.

I walked towards the dining area pretending as if I did not hear their hushed conversation. My mother's face was tear stained and shocked, as if she's seen a ghost and made her cry. Father held her hand and looked at me, a smile directed towards me.

"Son, let's eat," appa instructed. I nodded and sat down.

I fought the urge not to meltdown in front of them. I fought not to slam my hands on the table and start asking them questions.

They're hiding something from me. Even their tensed shoulders say it so.