a child's wish

it's him

tord p.o.v

after my final meeting for the day, which is way too goddamn late, i sneak out behind the backs of the soldiers guarding the gates 'jesus i should honestly fire those three, distracted by a goddamn penny, seriously!?!' i thing as i climb over the fence to the parking lot, if you can even call it that, to my red shitty car i've had since i was 17. i started it and went my way, i have instructed my soldiers not to talk to me unless its obvious i want them to.

this is one of the worst nights without thomas.

i've found myself missing him if you can believe that it was always so much less sad, with him it was almost like i wasn't still mourning on that day. a silent tear rolled down my cheek "fuck" i mumble to myself

i haven't even seen her yet, so why am i crying?

i turn on music so that way i can focus on that instead of my emotions, the highways, the roads, street signs, i dreaded them all. i hated remembering what i did to them, all though i deserve to feel miserable, it isn't one of my pass times. i skipped the road not wanting to look at the house that once made me feel safe, or more like, what's left of it. and as i slammed the door to make sure i close it this time (not wanting to accidentally bring home a cat again, as much as i love sylvester, he's an asshole) i turn and look to see someone in a british army uniform, someone with long tall hair, someone with dark eyes almost as dark as the sky itself.

thomas

a giant wave of fear rose over me, i took a small step back as he quickly stood up and turned around to face me,shit, i was about to be captured wasn't i? he just stood there looking bewildered. my mind was screaming to run, my heart was racing as if i was already, but my knees locked themselves preventing me from doing so. i heard him mumble my name, i almost forgot what his voice sounded like, but i could tell it was laced with something...shock? fear? ha. as if tom would be scared of me...wait, right?

there is a lot of things i know thomas thinks of me but... he wouldn't be scared right?

a whole new type of fear rose within me, i don't want him to fear me. meeting him now even if he did charge, shoot, or whatever. i would at least wanna be able to tease him like i used to, i tried to tease one of my soldiers, my old second in command actually, i said that i was going to set him on fire, something me and tom joked about a lot from the one time i tried to cook something other than bacon for once, and i accidently set him on fire, and then after i told her that she shot herself, stating in her final letter that she wished for a normal death.

i don't want that, jesus why am i even thinking about this right now? run you fucking commi- AND HOLY SHIT HE'S AFTER ME

i started running as fast as i could towards my car but before i could reach the door handle something grabbed me and rammed my back against the car i instinctively put my for arms up to protect my head.

but the punch never came, instead a semi-calm voice spoke "tord, for once, i am not going to hurt you, i just wanna talk" it was tom

a sudden calm? no, relief filled me, i let my forearms rest against my sides, and looked up i was filled with fear again looking at his military uniform and at the a-k that the dumbass forgot to put the safety on,

"t-thomas?" i blushed a little at my stumble to say his name

"yeah tord?"

" you don't have the safety on your gun,"

"oh shit "

i couldn't help but giggle a bit, at his panic

"thomas, i know you said you want to talk but its almost past 12 so can we talk up there?"

"sure."

his voice was shaky, and he was obviously nervous, we sat up on the hill i sat by the tree, instead of behind it like i used to, considering its a fucking tree now. we talked about how edd was doing although from the way it sounds, he has the same venom in his voice that he used to have talking about me, talking about him, so edd must have pissed him off big time. apparently matt is a lot smarter now and learned to get over himself, which is a change i never would have expected to happen. he told me about his asshole 'teammates' hes been assigned to. i told him about the fucking massive amount of meetings i have to attend and what happened to my previous second in command, because of the inside joke i told her. at first he cringed, than when i told him why she offed herself he laughed really hard, but obviously felt bad about laughing. she slowly started to fade into the small unshiny star she usually is, but took a longer time than usual, as if she knew how happy i was, 'why am i happy' i questioned myself, i turned to tom looked at his face and knew why

it's him

p.s i am so, so sorry about not uploading, i didn't have the motivation to continue the story, but i found it thanks to another night of staying up, way too late