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Chapter 53 - Distraction

December

"Grace? Grace!" I was in the midst of a very busy wool shop bustling with early Christmas shoppers and cheery music in town with Anne who was now impatiently waving her hand in my face. She wasn't exasperated...at least not yet, but I wouldn't blame her if she had been. I hadn't proven to be the best companion for her Christmas shopping expedition for reasons of my own. The holiday season tended to take on a different tone when you are about to embark on the most important mission of your life. The church bells at city center chimed brighter, children's laughs were wilder and more carefree, and the smell of the brisk winter air was intoxicating. I was likely to miss all of it if the preparations for traveling to Japan panned out within the next few weeks. I had never been away from home at Christmas in my life. I supposed sacrificing treasured delights was part of what it meant to be truly grown-up.

"There," Anne sighed, regaining her smile as I blinked, and she came into focus. "You were miles away there. What do you think?"

I flushed and apologized. "Sorry Annie. It's a lovely scarf."

She nodded as she held up the shimmering grey knit up to the light. "I think it might be perfect for Nan. I can't believe she thinks I don't have to give her something for Christmas. I'm going to be her granddaughter in-law! She's got another think coming!"

"She also mustn't know how we make certain that every resident and person employed at Wammy's receives the perfect gift every year. She'll learn that soon enough." I smiled a little, remembering that I needed to be a better friend to Anne, who I'd be leaving soon and who still wasn't aware.

"Yeah, it's pretty much our job, isn't it?" she smirked placing the scarf carefully into her shopping basket. "No one else really likes the idea of spending every weekend present-hunting when they could be doing anything else, like sleeping or watching paint dry."

We ventured further into the wool shop, sidestepping warmly bundled elderly women crowding around the sales tables. "I thought I could rope in Jude. He'd be quite helpful in learning what others wished for, but he saw me coming and flatly refused." I remarked. Actually, he had rolled his eyes and said. "Shopping? Me? You've got to be bullocking mad." but that was neither here nor there.

Anne's eyes lit up. "Aww, he would have been PERFECT! Oh well." She glanced around the shop again and suddenly chuckled to herself.

"It's a bit of a daunting task, finding something for everyone, isn't it?" I sympathized. Some years I found the task exhilarating and others just plain exhausting. This year I was firmly in the second camp.

"Well, yeah, there are so many people we could find great stuff for in this shop, but you know what? Your boyfriend isn't one of them!" She spilled over into more giggles at the thought.

"No, I suppose socks, hats and jumpers aren't really in his repertoire." I replied, feigning levity. She didn't know, she couldn't have possibly known that even the mention of him was starting to cause me pain. L had become consumed by work; the case was all he would think about. As the weather grew colder and the body count rose, L had thrown himself into his research without a care for his well-being. He hadn't officially announced his involvement in the Kira case, which was why Japan was currently on hold, but he was diligent behind the scenes, never leaving his post in headquarters and collecting information from every avenue. He had been listless before, but now he resembled someone undead, never resting, never taking a moment to clear his head and leave that drafty prison where he had ensconced himself for days upon days, it positively broke my heart.

Every afternoon, I would check up but although he appeared at ease with my presence, he was still like a man possessed. I voiced my concerns to Wammy who tried his best to assure me that L's behavior was normal even when I knew it wasn't. Any suggestion of visiting a physician was dismissed and I was left with the need to take it upon myself to make sure he was at least eating.