SmackDown: Back to Our Roots

Round 1: We Are Many - @Wuckster

Still, he felt that he could relate to the Varellian plight and liked to imagine that they would welcome him as a valuable contributor to their cause. He often imagined giving impassioned speeches to the Varellian masses and receiving their adoring applause. And then he liked to dream about more relaxed moments when he could hang out with his Varellian friends Jeddediah and Philbert and they would crack jokes and make each other laugh. Maybe they would even form a jug band and become famous. How wonderful it would be to have Varellian friends. Or any friends for that matter. Aside from his robot he was building in his parents' garage, which still didn't technically count as a friend because it wasn't exactly functional yet. But it was close and once it was, the Imperialist dirtbags that inhabited this planet would learn to cower at his feet.

His thoughts were interrupted once again as a large dirt clod impacted the side of his face.

"Nice one, Chance! Ten points!" A large boy with short spiky red hair laughed as he high fived his equally big friend who sported a bright green mohawk. They leered at him from the other end of the bridge.

Melvin knew them all too well. Chance and Zed were two grades ahead of him and the star players on the school's ankleball team. When they weren't busy winning games or making out with their cheerleader girlfriends, they loved nothing more than to torment Melvin.

"Hey, Nerd! You've got some dirt on your face," Zed said as he hurled another dirt clod at him. This one caught Melvin right across the bridge of his nose, causing his glasses to snap in half and fall to the ground.

The two older boys howled with laughter and chest bumped each other. Then Chance bent over to grab another dirt clod making sure to get as many small rocks and pebbles in it as possible so it would hurt more.

"You'd better not throw that at me," Melvin shouted.

"What did you say, you fucking dork?"

"I said you'd better not throw that at me or you'll be sorry."

"Did this fucking dweeb just threaten us, Chance?"

"I believe he did, bro."

"Well let's kick his fucking ass, then!"

The two older boys charged at Melvin and slammed him into the ground where they began pummeling him with their fists.

"Take that, you fucking nerd," Zed shouted in his face as he blackened both of Melvin's eyes.

"Yeah, that's what you get for being a fucking nerd, you fucking nerd," Chance said as he hocked an enormous loogie in Melvin's face.

"Let's teach this four-eyed little fuck a lesson he'll never forget," Zed said as he sat Melvin up and tugged with both hands on Melvin's underwear, lodging it way up in the nether regions of Melvin's ass, which was already in extreme pain from the paddling that had been administered by the principal.

"Heh heh," Chance chuckled. "Let's hang him up on that post." They proceeded to lift Melvin up and hooked the band of his underwear on a bridge post, suspending him several feet in the air. Then they stomped on the broken remains of his glasses as they left him to seethe in his rage and humiliation. It wasn't until three hours later that a man in some sort of business suit walked by and helped him down from the post. Melvin ran away from the man without saying anything. The guy was probably another Imperialist scumbag anyway.

Melvin paused outside of his house before going in to look to the sky again. He searched all around, but it seemed that Elhrrrr'r had gone behind a cloud. Still, he knew it was there along with all the Varellians who were just waiting to befriend him. He clenched his fist to his chest once more before heading inside.