Unforgivable Lies (Remus Lupin)

XIV

"Well it looks like we're getting closer and closer to your deepest, darker memories" he drawled, pushing back strands of black hair as he lopked at me.

"...hadn't noticed" I muttered darkly, taking a shaky breath.

"Maybe of you stopped fighting  me all the way we would he actually able to get somewhere" Snape murmured, quirking an eyebrow at me with contempt.

"Yeah" I snorted sarcastically "Because everyones just loves other people digging into their heads...."

He snarled at me, lips pressed into a thin line.

"You insolent child!" He barked out "I'm trying to help you here!"

"And doing the most wonderfull job!" I hissed, voice dripping with sarcasm. I didn't know where this sudden angry outburst came from. I wasn't usually this bold or rash.

"You should try and remember. It's all in your head. The memories are there, you're just supressing them...." Snape seemed to be putting a lot of effort into behaving curtly towards me. Maybe the least I could do was try and behave.

"If I'm suppressing them, it's probably for a reason" I muttered, massaging my temples with a groan "Maybe I just can't remember..."

A brief silence settled over us and I looked up to find Snape looking at me rather condescendingly.

"...what?" I uttered, tired to the bone.

"We'll get there. Eventually. You will remember" Snape finally said.

"But... what if it ....breaks me?" I whispered, suddenly feeling a pang of fear run through me "What if I can't handle it?"

Snape shrugged.

"You always have that mutt to turn to. He'll be delighted to comfort you, I bet..." he said with a sharp edge to his voice.

"Don't talk about Remus like that" I chastised him, almost automatically. Snape liked  to make nasty comments about Remus whenever I was around, and I never failed to correct him.

Again that dismissive shrug.

Sometimes Snape could be one insufferable man!

And this is how it had been for the past three weeks. Lesson after lesson in which he dove into my mind, digging up and dragging to the surface all those painfull memories. In the weekends I had been going to Prpfessor McGonagall, who had been teaching me how to shift. Dumbledore had been right, turning into a wolf was relatively easy once I got the hang of it. Transfigurative Magic was something I seemed to excell at, and I could now transform at will. Control was very important, and as the Full Moon approached I started getting more and more nervous. Anxious that I wouldn't be able to control thr change. Afraid I'd end up hurting someone....

But this time Remus would temain with me. After the Christmas party I had been spending a lot of time in his company, although classes had started and I had homework and other assignments to worry about,  not to mention the Legilimency lessons with Snape.

"You're free to go" Snape said with a wave of his hand, indicating I should leave.

Gratefull for the reprieve I hurried out ofnthe dungeons, only to run smack into Bill.

"Hey!" I stammered, smiling at the lanky Gryffindor "What are you doing here?"

He looked at me and his face reddened, a sheepish look crossing his face.

"I-I was supposed to meet up with Jenna" he said, blushing furiously to the tips of his red hair.

I chuckled, patting his shoulder reassuringly.