Evelyn Ross and the Prisoner of Azkaban [COMPLETED]

28. The Book Of Acceptance

I followed Snape to Dumbledore's office, which was at the top of a tower. Which meant - you guessed it - I had to climb several sets of stairs again. My upper legs were burning like crazy once we reached the Headmaster's Tower. I made sure to stay a little bit behind Snape, as I definitely didn't want him to see my agony; he'd enjoy it too much.

We were standing in front of a gargoyle statue.

"Fizzy Wizzy," Snape said gravely and the statue moved away. Awesome, a hidden chamber!

Behind the statue there was a small room in which the ground rose in the form of a winding staircase. Snape stepped on and I followed his lead.

At the top we arrived at Professor Dumbledore's office. With a curt nod at Dumbledore Snape went down the stairs again. I looked around Dumbledore's office. It was a noisy, circular room. Numerous paintings decorated the walls. There were some tables in the room with weird things on them of which some emitted white smoke, and on one of those tables there sat the Sorting Hat. Maybe he wants me to try the hat again so I can become a Gryffindor after all?

"Miss Ross, have a seat please." I looked up from my thoughts. I hadn't seen Professor Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, I'd been too engrossed in my thoughts to notice.

I took a seat opposite Professor Dumbledore and he dismissed Snape. I looked expectantly at the long-bearded man, whose smile and twinling eyes put me at ease.

"Would you like a treacle toffee, Miss Ross?" he asked while pointing at a little bowl filled with toffees.

"No, thank you sir," I responded politely. I was too curious to eat. Even I had my limits when it came to food.

"I'll have one, if you don't mind. Hagrid made them for me. They're delicious!" He popped a toffee in his mouth. "Miss Ross, I would like to talk to you about what exactly happened during your first lesson of Care for Magical Creatures. It appears young Mr. Malfoy was attacked by a Hippogriff and nearly lost his arm. I've heard different viewpoints from several people, but I would like to hear your account. Could you please tell me what happened, as accurately as you can remember, please."

I had not expected that. I was a little taken aback at the question, but at the same time I was glad I was given the chance to tell Professor Dumbledore about Draco's exaggeration in this matter.

So I told the headmaster what happened; how it was Draco's own fault he was attacked for not listening to Hagrid, and that his arm was alright when I visited him in the hospital wing. I left out the part about me casting the healing spell, though. No need to brag.

When I was done, Professor Dumbledore leaned back in his armchair and put his fingertips together.

"Thank you very much for your account, Miss Ross. Now that's settled, I'd like to discuss your first week at Hogwarts," he said. Wait, that settles things? I hoped Draco would be told off and that his stupid little act would finally come to an end.

"What would you like to know, sir?" I asked, a bit surprised at this personal question coming out of nowhere.

"Well, I've heard about how you defeated that Boggart in the teacher's lounge. It turns out your fears of not being a witch have been countered."

"Yes, definitely, Professor! The first week has been great, I learned a lot and I can't wait to learn more! Hogwarts is amazing. I mean, it's very big and all, and I get lost all the time, but that's just because I'm new here. And most people are really nice and willing to help me find my way," I said enthusiastically.

"I'm glad to hear it!" Professor Dumbledore smiled. "It just leaves us with the matter of why you never received an invitation to our school in the first place. I had another look at the Book of Acceptance and I noticed that around the time you were born, Miss Ross, it seems that one entry is missing at the bottom of the page. I believe that your name used to be there, but was somehow erased or hidden. I asked Professor Flitwick and Professor Lupin to take a look at it, but so far they haven't come up with anything useful."

Professor Dumbledore took a pause to let the new information sink in. I remembered the entry I'd read that morning in my Mum's diary which said that my Mum had indeed done something with that book!

"Professor? I might know what happened. Or well, not in detail, but..." Professor Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and looked at me over his half-moon spectacles. It made him look very adorable.

"My Mum left me a diary before she...before she was taken to Azkaban. In it, she wrote that when I started to show some signs of magic ability, she sent an Elf to remove my name from the Book of Acceptance."

"So a House Elf removed your name? House Elves possess powerful magic, but I've never heard they could remove permanent ink. But I will definitely investigate this. Thank you for sharing this piece of vital information, Miss Ross."

At the mention of the permanent ink, I couldn't help but think about the markings on my face, covered by a thick layer of foundation.

"If you don't mind my asking, why didn't your mother want you to enrol at Hogwarts?" His twinkly eyes stared at me in wonder.

Because she hates me.

"Because...She..." I had no idea how to say this. How to confess that your mother never wanted you, that she hated every moment of your existence. How you ruined her life simply by being alive. And believing it to be true... I wanted to confide in this lovely, warm and kind man, but I couldn't get the words across my lips. I felt that familiar lump in my throat again.

"You don't have to tell me, Miss Ross," Professor Dumbledore softly whispered to me. "It is no longer important. What is important is that you're here at Hogwarts. A little late perhaps, but you're here just the same. And you've proven yourself to be quite adept at magic, we are lucky to have you here," he continued with a reassuring smile. I felt my chest swell at the praise, but also because I was so grateful for everything that had happened these last few months.

"Thank you, Professor," I said with red cheeks and a smile.

"I mean it, Miss Ross. You already show great promise," the headmaster said in earnest. "You said your mother gave you a diary. I wonder, does it contain anything about Voldemort? She was one of his closest followers, so I am happy to learn any piece of information I can about him."

"It does, sir. Well, not that much, I suppose, but there are some entries about him. It's mostly crap, though. Stuff about how he praised her for her good work, and how she adores him. It's quite weird to be honest." Why on earth would he be interested in Voldemort, the guy's dead. I guess he's into history or something?

"Interesting. Would you mind if I took a look at it?" No! I don't want you to read it! The hateful things she wrote about me... I cannot bear the thought that you will learn this dark secret of mine.

"With all due respect, Professor, but I'd rather you didn't...It's quite personal, the things she wrote about me...My Mum wasn't very happy with me you see...and she expressed this quite vividly in her diary." I hoped he would not press any further. How could I keep anything from this wonderful man, who practically saved my life?

"It seems your mother had many problems of her own. They don't have to be yours, Evelyn. Don't let your self-worth be determined by someone who hardly knew you. If you're afraid my opinion of you will change when reading your mother's attitude towards you, you are very much mistaken. I am quite capable of making up my own mind." His eyes twinkled above his spectacles again.

I let out a heavy sigh. What should I do? It was difficult to deny this man anything, but I couldn't bear the thought of him reading all those horrible things my Mum wrote about me. I wasn't ready to share this with anyone yet.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't..." I stumbled.

"No need to apologise, I understand," he said kindly. "However, if you do change your mind, I'd be happy if you let me read it."

"Of course, sir. Thank you." And with that said I left the headmaster's office, feeling slightly queasy in my stomach. Had I made the right decision? What if the diary contained something important about my Mum or snake-face? I was also worried that I might've disappointed Professor Dumbledore.

Even though I was filled with doubt, I didn't change my mind. I simply wasn't ready to face my demons yet.