Thoughts

4/1/19

Welp here I am. 14 years old. My mom is in a coma and has been in it for a month. I am running out of tears to cry. Music and friends used to help when I was sad but now, nothing helps. I struggle every day with keeping myself alive. The only thing keeping me here besides the comfort of knowing there's a 20% chance of my mom waking up

is that I have a girlfriend who loves me. Sure she lives in another state and we met online and she's seven hours away but I love her so much. I'm glad that she's here for me and she supports me and my decisions. Even though I decided to go non-binary she still loves me.

Most of my friends don't realize how much this means to me. And my best friend even decided to go against me because of me being non-binary. She said that as long as I have girl parts in a girl. And I'd anyone has girl or boy parts that makes them a girl or boy. So what I asked is "what if they have both parts, what does that make them?" She said "then that makes them a nobody." I felt very offend and upset, my own best friend that she said supported LGBTQ+ obviously doesn't. I've decided to stop talking to her. I don't know if that was the right decision or not....

I just moved schools a month ago and it's very stressful there. Since the day after I switched is when I found out about my mom. I've been avoiding alot of people since then and I'm fighting to keep some friends since I'm on and off with talking to them.

I've already tried to kill myself by overdosing but then chickened out and told my dad and went to the hospital to make sure I would be ok