Say When

T W O

My feet rained down on the wooden planks as I pumped my arms. It felt good to run. I pushed myself and passed a few of my classmates as we lapped the gym.

It was easy to zone out during these times. The sweat dripped from my body and I felt my muscles contracting and releasing of my own accord. Control. Over and over again. Control. My Dad's words echoed in my head. Control changed things. It changed outcomes. It changed circumstances.

I whizzed past the slowest girl in our class for the second time. I could feel her eyes on me. I could feel her vulnerability and I ran harder and further away from it.

The awkward uneven thump of her shoes on the pavement faded behind me and I pushed a bit more. I rounded the court near the benches and heard a few giggles. The girls. The girls who thought it was not cute to run or sweat had figured out various excuses to get out of doing anything physical.

Headaches, big boobs, and menstrual cycles were the most popular excuses. All of which I dealt with but I always kept moving and kept pushing into the pain.

My left side had been giving me warning cramps since second period but I pushed. Being cute was not important enough for me to fail a class.

I needed to graduate at the top of my class and be able to move out and start fresh. I needed a new place. New surroundings.

"All right! Bring it in!" Mr. Doyle blew his whistle as I breezed past him. I slowed my pace and made my way back over.

"Good hustle. Not sure why you never joined track and field." I smiled and wiped my brow. It wasn't the first time he'd put me on the spot. He'd been trying to get me to join the team since my freshman year.

I always gave some excuse. That I didn't do it to compete, I just enjoyed running. That school work was overwhelming and I needed to focus. That my knee had been giving me problems and I didn't want to stress it.

All lies really. Track and field meant early morning practices which meant missed breakfasts with my Dad who worked overtime late into the evening.

It meant after school practices that would leave no one to watch after my mother. It meant away games that no one could take me to or be in the stands for.

"Maybe next lifetime," I said with a shrug. He looked like he had a reply geared up but I was saved by the bell. The rest of the class closed in around us.

"For those of you who didn't participate today, next week is your last chance to complete your Phys Ed eval. If you don't, I will fail you. Don't make me fail you. I've seen enough of you this year so I don't want to see you next year. Only excuses accompanied by a doctor's note will be accepted."

"Damn," someone whispered loudly behind me. The class giggled and I looked over my shoulder. A group of guys snickered while some desperately tried to keep a straight face.

"Nice one." Mr. Doyle shot the offender a look and continued on with his announcements. I lingered on an unfamiliar face in the rows of students.

We were halfway through the school year but I knew that his face was new to me. Or has he always been here? I faced forward and thought hard. I don't get to hang around school much after hours.

I don't get to attend the games and pep rallies. But I thought I had a pretty good Rolodex of everyone in the school. Mostly through my personable younger brother Chris. But I didn't know him.

Against my better judgment, I peeked over my shoulder again. He was looking right at me. He was solid.

Would probably be considered overweight if it weren't for his height. He had the other guys in the class by at least four inches. His tawny skin was smooth and stretched down over his muscular legs and disappeared into his neat sneakers.