Say When

E L E V E N

I laid there feeling my body in a new way. Jax had fallen asleep. His breaths smooth and steady next to me.

I laid on his chest pretending to be asleep as well. I was wired. Unable to drift into whatever comfortable place he'd found.

I traced my hands over the curves of his chest. Ran my hand over the muscles of his abdomen. The scent of him on my skin.

I looked at the clock on my dresser. It was nearing two in the morning. My heart sank as I thought about morning and me having to leave him.

My heart broke a bit. Jax stirred next to me. I waited until he was fully awake before I said anything.

"Hi." I smiled and he smiled back.

"Hi." He stroked my hair. "You didn't sleep?"

"I tried," I told him. My senses were firing on full pistons.

I couldn't quiet them. Or my brain. It was all coming together in a swirl of stuff that left me speechless.

I'd been waiting for this feeling. To not just know what it existed but to have ownership of it. He kissed my forehead before craning his neck toward the clock my dresser.

"It's getting late." He said. He sat up and shifted me smoothly off of him. I maintained contact with him as long as I could. He reached into his coat pocket pulled out his phone.

"You have to go?" The voice that came out of my mouth was unrecognizable. I sounded small. I feared that if he left he'd take the experience with him.

There'd be no evidence of what just happened. I didn't want to have to start relying on memories of our night so quickly. I shook my head to remove the thought. He put his phone down and turned around to kiss me.

"I don't want to but are you ready for me to sit at the table in a few hours and have breakfast with your Dad?" He snuck reality back into the little island of passion I'd constructed for us.

He was right. My Dad would hit the roof, go through it, and hit the moon. I relented and settled back in bed pulling the covers up over my bare chest. I watched him as he dressed.

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to ask him when I'd see him again. But the frog in my throat wouldn't let the words pass.

He slipped on his sneakers and stood there looking at me. He crawled back over to the bed and kissed me. I let it my lips stay connected with his a moment longer before separating.

He held a hand out to me and I slid out of the bed and crossed over to my dresser. I pulled out an oversized t-shirt and threw it on. My legs were shaky as I made my way over to my bedroom door.

I signaled Jax to wait as I slowly opened the door and peaked out. The hall was still darkened with no signs of movement.

I grabbed his hand and made my way to the front door on my tiptoes. He opened the door and turned back to me. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

For a moment I flashed to a scene of me holding on to his arm defiantly begging him not to go. I shook it off but held on to his hand.

He wrapped me in a tight hug. His hands found his way down to my hips as he pulled away. I stole one last kiss.

"I'll hit you up okay?" I nodded and he squeezed my hand before he was gone. I closed the door quietly but stayed to watch him walk down the steps through the window.

"Late night?" A voice behind me whispered. I knocked into a lamp as I whirled around but managed to catch it before it hit the ground.

"Shhhh." I hushed Chris even though I was the one making a commotion. He walked up the remaining steps from the basement and walked over to me.