Divided

Kenya

I woke up this morning happy , loving the way I look .

My hair is curly and full , looking like a crown on my head .

I've always wanted to slap a perm on my head and look like the other black girls at my school but my mama won't let me.

She says I should embrace my curly crown .

Why would I want silky straight flowing hair anyway right ?

That's so "ugly" .

I wish I could say that but at the same time I'm happy with my nappy crown .

I don't know why but sometimes I get nervous when I go to school , I feel like it's just another day in battle with ignorant Jaron .

With every bump and curve ,closer to school I can feel my stomach twist in worry .

I don't know the issue he has with me , I guess he can't handle looking at all this sexy coco everyday .

I never said anything to him or even knew his name when the first insult came my way , it was like he looked at me and thought .

She's a darkskin girl , I can make fun of her and degrade her soul for my own pleasure like so many black boys do .

I've been insulted by my own race then any other . I wonder why it's like that ? .

I stopped thinking about Jaron and hopped off the bus with the other kids I don't talk to .

I don't consider myself a loner but I only have 1 friend Omya. My friend and self confidence booster all in one , I tell her what happens with Jaron and he's friends she tells me that I should just pop his ass . But she know I'm not the type to do that .

Jaron is a problem I just can't solve .
If this situation was like it was in the movies I would have a fine ass man fuck Jaron up and we would get married and have some cute babies.

But it's not like that .

This is real life .

And Jaron is not going away anytime soon .

I hiked up my backpack , struggling through the packed hallway . I hate going through time square people just stop there knowing damn well people actually wanna go to class .

I hate time square for another reason too .

Jaron .

I never look left . Him and he's little squad stand by the wall like a army ready to degrade ever person they see .

I could feel jaron's eyes burning the side of my cheek and trailing down my body . I felt my body panic , by the fear of being assaulted . I pushed people out my way and quickly raced down the main hallway and into the bathroom .

I let out a sign of relief as I looked into the mirror .

You could say that the bathroom is my safe haven . The only place jaron CAN'T go , thank god he isn't a girl .

If he was a girl I'd fuck him up !!!!

A smile bursted on my lips of how big of a lie that was .

If he was a girl it would be much worse . I probably would transfer schools , not like the thought hasn't popped up in my mind already .

I just know that if he was a girl . I wouldn't be able to handle it as well.

I fluffed up my hair and walked out of the bathroom . A sick feeling tickled my stomach , damn why did I do to this bathroom when my class is back there .

I would have to pass jaron again .

I crossed my fingers and hoped he's slow self had gone to class but I wasn't lucky , I turned my face a millimeter and made direct eye contact .

I quickly shot my eyes away from he's and kept walking .

Panic bubbled in my stomach .

It erupted when I heard he's deep raspy voice call my name .

"Aye Kenya " .

I acted like I didn't here him and jogged quickly up the stairs .

He called me again he's voice shaking from jogging up the stairs .

I rolled my eyes giving up escaping, and turned around giving him a evil look .

"Bitch don't look at me like that with your burnt ass" he said harshly .

"I can look at your stupid ass anyway I want " I snapped back .

He looked at me coldly .

"Go suck a dick , dark knight " he said bumping me out of he's way .

There was no reason for his ass to talk to me . I hate jaron , I bite down on my lip as I followed him into our first hour , bracing myself for what he was going to say to me during class.

I seat down and sighed .

I'm Hoping to god my poker face won't crack today .