found family | sotus s

- chapter five -

Kongpob almost regretted helping Dae and Tew sort their problems out because now he was forced to watch them be disgustingly cute in his very own house. The way that cuddled on to each other, with Tew pressing kisses onto Dae's forehead made something ugly form in Kongpob's heart. Normally, he would be so happy to see that two of his closest friends were so happy together, but all Kongpob could feel was envious of the young couple. And although Kongpob would never willingly give Arthit up, he sometimes wished that parts of their relationship could be different, that they could be as open as Tew and Dae now were. 

Kong and Arthit's story had been a slow burn compared to the tumultuous waves of Tew and Dae's, and sometimes Kong feared that maybe his persistence had forced Arthit into something he didn't want.

It was something that kept Kongpob up at night, the fear that one day P'Arthit would become bored with Kongpob, that Arthit would realise that he'd never really loved him at all. Kongpob knew that when that day came, he'd never really be the same again.

"What's wrong?" Kongpob heard P'Arthit say, moving to sit down on the bed with him.

"What are you talking about?" Kongpob replied.

"You have a weird look on your face, you had the same look when you saw Tew and Dae downstairs, what's wrong?" Arthit said, not letting Kongpob dance around the problem.

Kongpob fidgeted with his sleeves. "Maybe that's just what my face looks like," Kongpob said, flashing one of his brilliant smiles at his boyfriend.

"Stop trying to joke. You always do this when you have an actual problem. Just tell me," Arthit said. He wasn't mad, he actually seemed genuinely concerned. 

Kongpob sighed, "It's dumb. I'm just making up problems in my head that don't exist."

"Tell me anyway," Arthit said. It was moments like this that Kongpob remembered that P'Arthit had once been his Head Hazer, where he felt like he couldn't disobey him.

"The way you are with Dae..." Kongpob began, not knowing how to continue. How could you put years of confusion and hesitation into words?

Arthit moved closer to Kong on the bed, moving to sit right in front of him, "What about it?"

"It's just that you two are ... close," Kongpob said, looking down, his face burning red under Arthit's scrutiny.

Arthit actually had the nerve to laugh, "Wait... are you jealous of me and Dae? Because you know he has a boyfriend, right? We went through that mess to get them together, remember?"

Kongpob choked on his words, "N-No, I'm not... that's not it, exactly."

"Then what?" Arthit asked, baffled.

"You and Dae are just really touchy with each other..." Kongpob started.

Arthit furrowed his brow, "Do you want me to be less touchy with him?"

"No, I don't really mind about that. It's fine that you are close, it's nice. It's just that... you're just never really that touchy... with me..." Kongpob trailed off.

The confused look on Arthit's face transform into something like shame, his gaze falling away from Kongpob.

Kongpob cleared his throat, "And I know you've said before that you're not a touchy person, and I get it. But seeing you with Dae recently, I'm starting to wonder if it's just me that you're uncomfortable with."

Arthit looked up at him as he said this, and the look of guilt on his face was enough to give him his answer.

Kongpob continued, wiping at the tears forming in the corners of his eyes,  "It's fine, P'Arthit. I get it."

"What are you talking about Kongpob?" Arthit asked, quietly.

"I'm always worried that maybe I was too persistent, that I held onto you too tightly," Kongpob sniffled, sadly, "That I forced you into something you didn't want..."

Arthit suddenly grabbed his hand. "No. Kongpob, no. Don't think that. I've always wanted this," Arthit said seriously, and only then did Kongpob realise that Arthit also had tears in his eyes.

"I know that I'm weird with... physical stuff, I wish I wasn't," Arthit sighed, "It's not because of you, I don't regret being with you at all. It's just that... I can be like that with Dae because I know that it doesn't mean anything, that we're just friends, but with you," Arthit held Kong's hand tighter, "It means something. It means so much."

Arthit wiped the tears from his own eyes, "I'm trying to be better at it, but it's hard..."

The tears were flowing freely from Kongpob's eyes now, the tears a mixture of sadness and relief at Arthit's words, "It's okay, P'Arthit. I'm sorry I was thinking all that bad stuff about you."

Arthit embraced the younger boy, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, "Don't be sorry. It was a problem, and I'm glad we've worked it out now. I haven't been a very good boyfriend lately,"

Kongpob shook his head, "You're the best. You always are,"

"I knew something was wrong and I didn't ask you about it sooner," Arthit said, arguing against Kongpob.

"See? You knew something was wrong with me and I didn't even have to tell you. You're a great boyfriend," Kongpob said, smiling against Arthit's shoulder.

Arthit laughed softly, "I love you, Kongpob. I'm sorry that I'm so weird about showing it. I'm just scared that I'll do something wrong."

Kongpob felt his eyes prickle with tears again, "It's okay P'Arthit, I'm glad you're here with me."

"Me too, Kongpob,"

"I love you,"

"I love you more. Even if I can't show you, I can still tell you everyday."

...

- at last, the cathartic kong/arthit moment that we all needed!, I love exploring the idea that Arthit is weird about PDA and physical contact because he loves Kongpob Too Much, this pairing actually heals my soul, anyway! pls give me feedback in the comments if you want another part in this series! -

- this fic is also posted on ao3 in you prefer that platform, my user is jojodomincs on there as well! -