Sapphire

Chapter 39

"I'd rather not." Noah only glanced at her briefly as she stood in his doorway.

"Fine. But I'm still coming in."

Before he could protest, Shay closed the door behind her and approached him. She climbed onto the bed and lay next to him, close but not touching, her position similar as his except her hands were folded in her lap in a way that made it easier to resist the urge to touch him.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine."

"I don't think you are." Shay persisted. "And that's okay, cause I know you're even more freaked out by this than I am."

"Freaked out by what?"

Her blue eyes narrowed at him, though she couldn't help but smile. "By what happened."

"I'm not freaked out."

"You forget how well I know you." Shay reminded him. She knew that the things she was feeling weren't one-sided anymore, that he felt as much from that moment as she did. Since he had an even harder time with emotions though, she knew she was going to have to talk him down. "I just want you to know that nothing has to change. No matter what, I'm here for you, ok?"

Noah's eyes gazed onto hers with uncertainty. If she had to guess, he thought she wanted more from him. That she wanted to date him, or keep moving forward with it, or talk about it.

In reality, all she wanted was to be in his life. She didn't care to what capacity so long as he was happy.

"Can I lay with you?" Shay asked when she realized that he wasn't going to speak again, noticing the flash of panic that shot behind his irises at her suggestion.

Surprising her, he nodded.

Noah moved his body a tad to the left to make room for her. Still laying on his back, Shay curled up beside him, laying her head on his chest and reaching her hand across him to rest on his opposite shoulder. Her legs were close to his and her stomach was pressed against his side, the sheer amount of contact causing him to tense up. In order to soothe him, Shay moved her hand back and forth on his arm, her movements gentle and light.

"It's just me." Shay reminded him. Then she looked up into his eyes, which were already on hers. His expression was dark and haunted and she stopped moving her hand, leaving it to rest on his arm.

"I missed you, Shay." Noah's voice was clear and monotone, completely opposite of his eyes.

Guilt flashed through her chest and she started to defend herself again. "I know, I'm sorry-"

"No, like, more than I've missed anyone." Noah continued. "I didn't know how much I needed you until you were gone."

A blush warmed up Shay's cheeks and now she was the tense one. "Oh."

"If I'm ever mean to you again, just know it's not cause I don't care about you." Noah told her as he glanced away, fixing his gaze on the wall straight ahead of him. "It's the opposite, actually." 

"I know." Shay reassured him. If he was anything like him, the 'L' word wasn't a part of his vocabulary. Neither spoken by him or to him.

"We probably shouldn't change anything, though." Noah said firmly, his words tumbling out of his mouth faster than before. "It's too risky with the missions and everything."

"Yeah."

"I just don't want things to get awkward."

Shay knew he just needed more time, so she went along with it. As long as they were okay, she was happy. "Of course."