Find Yourself

Lonely Bird

*RING* *RING* *RING* *WAKE UP HOE* *RING* *RIN-* I actually smack my alarm clock right in the face. Well, actually, if it had a face I would have hit it there. I jolt out of bed in a hurry and smack my Ipad in the face. The screen turns on and I read the time. 7:00 AM. I slide off of my bed spread. My uncomfortable bedspread. I hate it. I hate it so much. I furrow my eyebrows and I feel my mood start to go sour just from looking at this awful, terrible bedspread. I shake my head, displeased with this sight, but I shrug my shoulders anyways and make my way to my dresser. We just got off of break so I guess i'll wear my cute top that i've been saving for the beginning of spring. I grab a cute pair of light blue skinny jeans to go with it and can't figure out what to do with my hair, so I just put it up in a messy bun. I smile to myself, knowing that today was gonna be a good day. I was looking forward to learning something new today as I hadn't done anything new in such a long while. I wanted to find something and examine it. I wanted to be social due to the fact that I haven't talked to anyone in a while. I widen my eyes as I realize that last night I had gotten a text from Trisha. I wonder what her motivation was, to text me after months of avoiding me online. I hope she's ok. I tend to worry alot about her, but that's just second nature to care about your friend. Is she really even my friend anymore? I wonder as I remember her leaving me on open so many times that it broke my heart in two. I feel anger burning inside of me. I furrow my lips as I frown at a picture she had drawn for me the past summer. I was so tempted to just rip the picture in two, right split down the middle. Separating us. I can't believe her. I might actually cancel plans with her. I'd never thought id say this but, she was being a terrible friend. I shake my head and stomp my way to the bathroom. I glance at my cracked watch, 7:08. I still have time. I hurriedly try and grab my toothbrush and quickly wince in pain as I remember that my arm was still broken.

"Gah!" I grunt, I was so stupid to think that that tree was ok to climb. I feel tears burn down my face. Ugh, I hate being in such a sour mood so early in the morning. I slam my hand on the white marble counter. Why did life have to be so unfair? Why did your most trusted friends have to be so selfish? A tear streaked down my cheek to my chin, then dripped down to the counter. I sniff twice and angrily brush my teeth. I still wasn't the best at brushing my teeth due to the face that I'm right handed and..yeah my arm's broken. I carelessly toss my toothbrush onto the counter and storm downstairs. I rush to the counter and grab some wheat bread, I grit my teeth. I don't like wheat bread. Whatever. I shove it in the toaster and wait patiently for the toaster to finish.

I turn to go to the bathroom, I lean over the counter and stare at my reflection. I look disgusted. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing for a quick minute. I open my eyes and I realize how stressed out I looked. I smile softly at my reflection. I smile like this for a small while then My face returns to its normal state and I lean back and stand tall. I jump in surprise as I hear the toaster go off. I hurry and grab the butter from the counter and the knife beside it. I grab to toast and burn my hand on the toaster. I flinch and jerk my hand back knocking over the toaster and pushing the butter onto the ground. I grab the butter and toss it on the counter quickly.

I check my watch. 7:24. Shoot. I rush to the hallway and grab my coat, I shove my feet in my shoes, not bothering to tie them. I yank open the door and slap the lights off. I fumble with the lock as I run out the door. I look back for a split second and see that I forgot to turn off a light.

"Dammit." I breathe under my breath. My lungs start to get sore and my legs feel like jello. I am so not gonna make it.

I slowly start reaching up the block as my lungs start hurting. I have to stop. I slow my pace as I approach the block my bus arrives to. I see cars pass by as I hunch over and put my hand on my chest and feel my heartbeat. Its so fast and so heavy that I can practically see it through my shirt. I continue walking, even though I feel as though I want to fall down and die. I Look around me as I walk, I see cars going and stopping, they all only care about where they go, and that's just the way society works. I watch as children grasp their mothers hands and lean onto them like they are in a life or death situation. I smirk through my panting and begin to cough. I tend to cough violently so the children and the other people started staring at me weird. I didn't know how to react to all this attention and I just kinda wave and smile. The mother waves back and points ahead of me. I dart my eyes to what she's pointing at and see the bus waiting, about a block away. I still hadn't gotten enough rest to run but at this point I had no choice. I start my pace slowly and increase it quickly. My breathing is unsteady but I keep going. The bus starts moving again but I'm only about 15 feet away. I shout and yell for the bus and I think the bus driver noticed me because the bus stopped and ten second later im on the bus, a heaping puddle of sweat and tiredness. The bus driver mumbles to me as I get on, "Hurry up next time, will ya?" I only nod for its all I can do.

I step off the bus and enter the school slowly. My lungs still feel sore and hurt, but otherwise I'm only a little sweaty. I walk into the commons room and I look around for Trish, only to remember that she moved. I frown, I look over and see the one and only Joel Peterson, waving at me as if he did nothing wrong to me. I don't have the time to remember all of the terrible things he did to me. I frown and turn away from him, I pull out my phone and scroll through my social medias.