Sweetest Little Show - Paul McCartney Fanfiction

Chapter 13 - Only Nineteen

Lethargically, I got up and climbed up the stairs, desperate for sleep. The thought of the warm sheets and the soft bed and pillows made me yawn ever more than I already was, and it got my eyelids heavy. I turned the doorknob and rubbed my eyes as I walked into the bedroom, not anticipating what was on the other side of the door.

Suddenly, I just came to life. It woke me up enough to run and jump. Paul stood next to the bed with a big grin on his face, and I was instantly wide awake. He chuckled when he saw me gasp, run, and jump at him, tackling Paul down to the bed.

"You're home!" I cheered. I kissed his cheek, holding him tightly as we were laid on the bed together. "Oh god, thank god you're home!"

"Yeah, I'm home," Paul shrugged as he smiled widely at me.

"When did you get here? How did you get here?" I asked.

"Well I came in, and saw you asleep on the couch. I decided to sneak up here and get myself ready for bed so I could surprise you in the morning, but had already come in here and woke up," Paul said. "I'm glad you did."

It made me feel so stupid with how giddy I felt around him. My smile stretched from ear to ear, and I wanted to just hold him tightly and kiss his cheeks and lips all day. Still sounded like a stupid crush to me.

"I've missed you so much, idiot!" I said, getting up and standing next to the bed. "You have no idea how many times this hand of mine had to deal with me kissing it so I could feel like I'm with you."

"Good news, I'm all here to kiss," Paul said, standing up in front of me.

"Oh lord, please kiss me," I said, making Paul laugh as I wrapped my arms around him. "Y'know, I think it was a bit stupid to kiss you not too long before you left. It meant I knew what your lips felt like and had something to miss."

"What about that time I stupidly kissed you and you hated me for it?" Paul asked, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You didn't know how they felt?"

I shrugged. "I was too busy thinking about how much I hated you to remember how it felt. That time, I had time to enjoy it without trying to push you away."

He looked down at my lips, before looking back up at my eyes to give me the look. That look of curiosity mixed with excitement, and an ask of consent. It was sweet really, he'd be eager but careful and I liked that. It really showed that he cared and wasn't just using me.

"What about another one to enjoy? Our um... Third kiss now," Paul asked, leaning in. He stopped a few inches away from me, making me hunger for his kiss even more. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please do," I replied.

It felt like heaven. That feeling again that I missed so much. There was nothing like it, no feeling, no excitement. No rush, or adrenaline. You could almost say it felt like a drug, but one that didn't hurt you. It wouldn't ruin you, and in the end it'd be alright.

This time, I had a bit of a surprise. His warm tongue licked in between my lips, almost as if he was asking for permission. I opened my mouth up a bit more slightly and let him in, feeling his quick and short little licks as we kissed. They were full of passion and gentleness, and I could feel in his kiss.

As he pulled away, I still had my eyes closed in awe. It felt even more magical than the first time. The nerves were there, and I actually had to look at him and know I'd be kissing him. Now he had me lost for words, and I couldn't even open these eyes. They were stuck shut, like I was still in that magical place he had brought me to.

When I finally felt ready, I opened them up and saw Paul smiling softly at me with his sweet little grin. He chuckled when I smiled back at him, before holding me close and cuddling me. I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, holding onto him for dear life. Already, he meant a lot to me.

"Y'know," Paul said, "We missed our one month."

I sighed with a giggle, kissing his cheek as I pulled back a bit to look at him. "Yeah, we'll need to figure that out."

"Already did," Paul said, pulling out another one of his little surprises.

"Really?"

"6pm tomorrow night, I've got a little date planned for us," Paul said. "And I've hired out a place for us. We can do whatever we want, just you and me."

"Oh god, you really are a dreamboat," I said in delight, making us both laugh.

"Y'know, on our one month, I spent most of my day looking for anything of you. Magazines, pictures, interviews, movies on TV, anything," Paul said. "Whatever reminded me of you, I'd take a look at."

It made me blush, he just made me feel so special. His charm just managed to always get to me, and no matter what I couldn't stop thinking about this man. "You're too good."

"Well it doesn't mean I can't be better," Paul said. "I uh... I only just found out through that day that you're only 19."

"Yeah, I'm turning 20 this year," I said.

"It surprised me. I knew you were young, you don't look like you're over about 22, but the fact that you're only 19 surprised me. Already, it's clear you've experienced a lot," Paul said, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. "And at 19, it seems like you've experienced too much."

My eyes fell, thinking back to what I had experienced. What I didn't expect was for Paul to be such a good people reader. It was like he knew, like he had been with me the whole time and just knew. That almost scared me, but it gave me a kind of comfort too.

"You could say that," I said quietly.

He lifted my chin up, making me look at him. It was the most comforting and gentle look I had seen from someone in a long time. There was a sympathy that didn't make me feel like I had too much attention or unneeded pity.

"Darling, it really shows. 19, and you don't act like it. You're too young to worry like you do. Way too young to have hard times with things like you do. Love, it's like you're childhood and teenage years didn't even exist," Paul said. Hits too close to home. "Why?"

There was no denying that I would have to tell him soon. And I couldn't deny the fact that I really did want to tell him now, but it didn't feel right. To me, it wouldn't be fair to Paul to just dump all my problems on him. He didn't deserve that, and I didn't deserve such a good man to have to deal with them. Maybe I'd never tell him at all.

"I just grew up fast I guess," I said, definitely failing to cover it up.

"If you're scared, tell me. Whatever it is, I'm not gonna judge you, or run away, or anything. I may not be the wisest of the wise, or someone who's good with this stuff, but I care a lot about you. I care so much about you, and I don't even know how to tell you," Paul said. In that moment, I couldn't think of something that sounded more sincere. If you gave me another year to think, I probably still couldn't. "Lord knows what you've been through."

I tried to keep calm as I thought back to what actually has happened. Now that I think about it, he's right. A normal 19 year old wouldn't be like me. They wouldn't have terrible trust issues, and they probably just throw them self at every guy they could. Normal girls my age actually had fun and did things, they actually explored and adventure the world. Sure, I had adventured the world, but it wasn't the brightest path.

"I'll tell you one day," I said. "Just promise me you won't run off when I tell you."

"I wouldn't dare," Paul said.

**