The Snake Eaters Daughter

Chapter 19 ~ Morning Murders with Mrs. Mystery

With a thousand lies
And a good disguise
Hit 'em right between the eyes
Hit 'em right between the eyes
When you walk away
Nothing more to say
See the lightning in your eyes
See 'em running for their lives

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid ~ The Offspring

😈😈😈

When the morning comes-a-calling, I am all sorts of unhappy out of sorts when I wake up. For starters, all that over-emotional bullshit from yesterday just won't seem to go away and leave me alone. Okay, I admit I'm a little extra irritated and agitated, and just maybe I'm in a slightly meaner mood than before. Especially, after seeing all the normal family stuff I don't really have anymore. 

I mean don't get me wrong, the Dynamic Duo is pretty okay'ish for taking my orphan ass in and everything? But it's just not the same thing as having a real fucked up family to play with? More like being roommates with some strange foreign folks, that you don't really have anything in common with? Sure they are all smiles and seem super nice at first? But they still have their fancy foreign ways about them. So you make do the best you can and hope to hell their exotic fancy foreign food doesn't smell up the refrigerator too much?

With that happy thought, I slip sideways out of bed and fall to the floor like a ninja. Where I quickly bang out twenty bouncy pushups and fifty crunchy situps. After which I pull on some stretchy yoga pants and my comfortable oversized greying sweatshirt with the hood cut off. The one that always seems to slump to one side, and makes me look like a flashdancing stripper chick. These are my comfort clothes, my Netflix chill chicks apparel of choice. 

I slip into my fuzzy monster feet slippers and galumph out my bedroom door, go forth and forage for food. When I hit the hallway down to the kitchen to grab some breakfast I hear some voices. Which is not exactly that unusual for a mid-morning Saturday in the ol' conquistador castle. The bottom level of the house is an open floor plan design with terracotta tiles, so noise tends to travel. Especially when Rina does one of her conference calls, so that she can talk and "art some shit" at the same time.

Rina's sister Angelica is literally the worst witch ever when it comes to this conference call crap. With her constantly crying kids and screaming baby brats in the background demanding attention. Not to mention, an idiot husband who can't ever seem to find anything on his own. Not without interrupting the conversation to ask Angelica where she left his balls. And all the while that cacophony of crap is going on? That crazy baby momma is multitasking all her bad brats and is somehow still able to talk up a shit storm without taking a breath.

But low and behold, it is not Rina's super annoying sister Angelica on the old hollering horn this fine foul morn. But none other than the return of yesterday's maternal madness.

"I honestly don't know what to tell you, Maggie? Other than she has a lot of boundary lines?" I hear Rina start trying to explain the demonic entity infestation in her house. "Stay inside her lines and she is mostly amicable, even amenable at times? But make the mistake of crossing one of her little ley lines, and that's it with her. So you best battle up, because you will have a war on your hands whether you like it or not."

I pretty easily pick up the nomenclature in this convoke, that the "she-her-biotch" in question is in fact mois-truly. But as for these so-called boundary battle lines crossings that Rina seems to speak so highly of? Yeah, I'm thinking that talking about me behind my back. Not to mention, that telling the secrets of success to our mystery guest is gonna be a major issue going forward.  

"Yes, I think we saw some of that last night at dinner?" Comes the less than enthusiastic reply of an unhappy guest.

It's that second witch's voice in the convoke that stops me in my tracks at the stair landing. This confirms for me that Riley's mal mother is indeed in the house. Maybe she even brought Mr. Asshole-King-of-the-Castle himself with her? But then again probably not? Big Bob did not exactly impress me as the type of guy who would drop by for a little chick chat over awful oolong tea and some strawberry scones. At least not without his big gun firmly in hand. Which as I have learned lately is a huge "No-Go-Bro" up in Rina's conquistador castle.