Mini's Updates

more edgy venty stuff

I feel bad whenever I go places with family because I'm literally seen as the annoying and bratty child because of how I was when I was younger, and I don't think anything I do anymore can fix that because something always has to go wrong and I always do something stupid

I want to apologize online a lot of the time, mainly my cousin today, as she has Wattpad, but I feel was too intimidated to and I just feel so.. nervous doing it. I feel like I'll make it worse, like I'll be more annoying, and like I'll make her mad and that it won't work

partially the reason I'm not comfortable venting to my family

I can't be taken seriously, I'm just a stupid crybaby that gets upset over stupid shit. I'm afraid they'll tell other family, I'm so fucking scared

it feels like I genuinely don't belong in this family sometimes. I'm annoying, I'm a crybaby, I've never been taken seriously and I don't think I ever will. I'm only useful when I'm not doing or saying anything, or when I'm just hiding away in my room or away from everybody else

when I'm sad it feels like they'll just assume I'm acting out again. When I cry I don't want to because it feels like I'm annoying them even more. I'm the troublemaker, I'm the stupid 15 year old who can't do a damn thing right

I'm pathetic. I'm not comfortable around my family, my aunts and cousins and such, I'm just someone that doesn't belong there. Something always happens. Something always happens that makes me look worse than I am

I have changed, I want to show I've changed, but it's hard to. I'm not comfortable around them, I'm worried they'll find out how I'm feeling and tell my dad, or my grandma, or something like that and make it worse. I'm scared, I'm worried, I'm so pathetic and I just don't fucking belong here

they wouldn't take me seriously if I vented to them or if any of them saw this post, anyway. They'd probably think worse of me

"oh no she's begging for attention by posting this shit, how terrible can she be"

I don't fucking belong here, it's so fucking obvious that I don't belong anywhere but here. I want to tell them how I feel but I can't

I'm so fucking pathetic