***now published*** Holliday Whitehead just turned 16. She was supposed to get a nose job for her 16th Birthday and show off her new nose on Instagram. Except she doesn't want the nose job anymore. Holliday is tired of "perfect."
Her sister, Madge...
It's a new day. My dad was super sweet last night. He brought me a maple donut from Tim Hortons (my FAVE) and super awesome new leg warmers with shiny gold stars for hip hop.
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He really tries hard to make me like him. Which I like. I mean I love him so much. I love everything about him. Except that he left. He didn't have to do that. But he doesn't have to try so hard to make me like him. I think the guilt of leaving is just so heavy for him. And my guilt of what he saw that day is so heavy for me.
I know it's been super hard on him since Madge died.
He was an engineer. A chemical engineer. So smart. After Madge died he just couldn't focus anymore and when they restructured he finally got laid off. Then he and a former colleague had this cool idea for an app that helped connect idea makers with designers for perfumes that could recall memories from childhood. Really futuristic wacky stuff. Then his friend stole the idea. Took the early VC's money and fled the country. I mean I can't make this shit up. He's apparently living in China somewhere developing this app and perfume and shit. I dunno. I was younger when this happened, so the details are fuzzy. But my dad was left without a job. And me and my mom to feed. So he took a job as a postal worker with Canada Post. Never looked back. Government job, benefits, health for all of us, pension.
My mom was such a bitch about it. Said the stupid "position in the community" thing again...and this was the beginning of the end for them. I mean Jesus Christ, I don't even know why she says that. She grew up a nobody catholic girl from the Bronx and now fills people's heads with botulism. My mom is American and moved to Canada when she was 18. She ran away from home with a Canadian guy she was dating. Not my dad. She met my dad later in a book store. She thought he seemed "nice" and he thought she seemed "daring." lol. Anyhow, it worked out. Until Madge. They say tragedy can bring you closer or tear you apart. In this case, it shredded us. All of us. But, knowing I'm American too now cause of my mom makes me want to run away to NYC. Always been a big plan of mine.
That and getting "Non Mettiamo Limiti" tattooed on my lower back. It's from the Italian gun maker Uberti and means "Let's not limit ourselves." I just adore it. My dad shoots guns and we go to the range together sometimes. I took all the tests and it's like our bonding thing. My mom hates guns. She would never have any part of it. She always hated that part of my dad. Not like I "like" guns, but I like shooting one in a controlled environment. I think every woman should know how to shoot a gun and know self-defense. God forbid you ever need it... but still...
Anyways, hip hop was super fun. I'm really good at it. Coding and hip hop are my thing. Oh and ukulele. I play in a band called "The Crusty Eggs" and we do all kinds of bars around the city. I love it. It's a great release for me.
Gotta go to school. Write more later. Today is the day I take Amber to find out if she is preggers.
Oh, and I saw my sister in the shower today. Weird or what?
