Unforgettable

46.

"You know the night time, darling
Is the right time
To be
With the one you love, now"
***

I blow out a heavy coaxing breath while I give myself one last look in the mirror, running my hands through my hair and step in front of the bathroom door, knowing an anxious Harry is sitting on the bed waiting on the other side.

I quickly adjust my bra, before moving my hands down to make sure my lace panties are in place, god it's been years since I've worn lingerie.

I'm still trying to work out how two small pieces of fabric, made of lace and string cost more than half of what I make in a week.

What do they sew them together with thread made from the hair of unicorns and cherubs?

I know Harry likes pink, so I spent my time searching for something of that colour with my short time frame I was given, struggling when most of the 'sexy' lingerie section is black, red or white.

The set is soft powdered pink, reminds me of cotton candy - it almost looks innocent, but the decorative straps going from the centre of the front of the bra, over my cleavage and connecting to the bra straps, matching the the decorative straps that connect the front of my panties to the back at the sides, takes away any innocence from it.

God I'm shitting myself.

I haven't put effort into trying to looking 'sexy', since... I can't even remember. It's not something I feel like I'm good at.

Dylan never particularly noticed, or if I ever did try to dress up for her, I barely got an acknowledging nod or compliment.

So I just stopped trying.

The straps on this thing made figuring out how to get it on as complicated as untying a pair of god damn head phones, but I'm hoping it's easier to get off.

It's his birthday, I didn't really have anything for him to unwrap - so here I am I guess.

I'm not use to this anxious feeling, these nerves over how he's going to react when he sees me. I'm so accustomed to being nonchalant or confident in these situations, but exploring this new side of my sexuality is bringing out that insecurity in me.

Harry has seen me butt naked, and that was water off a ducks back for me, but for some reason walking out in these feels a millions times more anxiety inducing than if I were naked.

Maybe it's because I'm trying, actively trying to be sexually attractive to a man, dress up for him and try to impress him.

I need to open this door before I chicken out, and replace this lingerie with a baggy shirt and a comfy pair of knickers.

Jesus Christ Joey just grow a pair of ovaries and open the fuckin' door.

I grip the handle, holding it for a moment to give myself a silent pep talk and then turn it, opening the door slowly and stepping out; seeing Harry sat on the bed in a loose vintage band shirt and his black jeans, his large hands covering his face like he's playing a game of hide'n'go seek.

"Why are you covering your eyes?" I ask giving him a strange look, walking forward until I'm stood in front of him.

"You said it was a surprise, and then you went to get changed in the bathroom. Which can only mean one thing - this will prolly kill me, so m'just preparing myself" he  mumbles against his hands, sounding like he's working himself up to go sky diving and I bite back a laugh.

I guess I feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only one that has nerves, or that the anticipation makes an anxious mess of.

"Were you just planning on covering your eyes all night?" I jest, smiling to myself over how adorable his behavior is.