My Journal. (Jalbert)

5

Friday 11:27 pm

Everyone in my friend group is dating now except for me.

Albert and Lana are together.

Russo and Meg are together.

Ally is with this artsy French guy now.

What the hell is happening. We used to make fun of the people that dated at our age. I miss my old friends. I miss the old group. I hate this fucking change. This is bullshit.

Now if one of them break up we have to pick sides. Our whole friend group is over.

I hate myself. I hate them. I hate this dumb depression. I hate this journal. I fucking hate everything.

I wish I could just fucking tell them the truth. Tell them I have depression. Tell them I'm gay. Tell them all this fucking shit that I've had to bottle up for years now.

They would never understand. All I'd get would be, "Well, what makes you sad?"

I fucking hate that question. Depression isn't about being fucking sad. I can't control what I fucking feel anymore.

One minute I'm happy and shit and the next I wanna rip the veins from my arms out from under my skin.

I just want to be happy.