Reaper's Touch

Lucas: C(r)aving

"I'm gonna call Nora. Then... maybe write some music or watch some movies."

"Make a list. Write down everything you want to do in order and allocate a time to every one. Check off each item. After awhile, you won't have time to think about the dope because you'll be moving to the next thing. This is just a moment, Lucas. This craving will fade. All cravings fade if you don't give in to them. They are just thoughts. They don't have power over you."

"Thanks. I'll try," Lucas said.

"I'm here for you whenever you need me. Call me at any point on this trip. Any time you feel like using, even if it's an hour from now," Jeff said.

"I will. Thanks for talking to me."

When he hung up from Jeff, Lucas tried to call Nora. It was still early, about six in the morning, and he knew she probably wasn't awake, but he had nothing to lose by taking a chance. Sure enough, she didn't answer. He texted her.

"On the bus. Just wanted to talk. I miss ur voice already. Call me back. I know it's early. Maybe u haven't even got my note yet. It's under ur pillow and explains everything."

An hour later, he tried calling his mother. He was pretty sure she would pick up, and it only took a ring and a half.

"Sweetie? Is that you?" Sarah asked, her voice shaking. "Tell me you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm still on the bus. Everything's okay. Marcus is picking me up at the bus stop. You know he's responsible."

"Are you using? Did you relapse? I want to help you..."

"No, Mom, don't worry about that. You know Marcus would never let me stay with him if I did."

"Brian told me he had a bad feeling. Lucas, please be honest with me," Sarah said.

Lucas's anger flared. "Don't listen to Brian! I swear I'm not using! He's a fucking liar!"

"Lucas, why can't you try to get along with Brian? It's been a long time now since your dad passed away."

"So what? What does that have to do with anything? I can't get along with Brian because he hates me. Like I've always told you, but you never listen! He hates me!"

Sarah breathed out slowly. "Brian has never shown any signs that he hates you, Lucas. It's immature to keep up this grudge against him. You're an adult now. It's time to grow up."

Lucas laughed coldly. "I knew you wouldn't listen. Just like always."

"Lucas, I don't want to fight! I don't know what possessed you to do this. I know I can't make you, but please come home, honey. Please. Being on your own is not a good idea right now. You just got out of rehab two weeks ago! This is a time of extreme vulnerability for you. That's what the people at the ranch told me. You're too vulnerable to be out there alone. There are too many temptations. We can go to family therapy if you want, figure out this thing between you and Brian once and for all, move on-"

Lucas interrupted her. "I'm not coming home, Mom. I'm sorry, but I'm just not."

"Then when will you be back?"

"Not for awhile. I can't live with Brian anymore. Nothing can fix it. Nothing will change it. I hate him. I have never hated anyone like I hate him, and I'll end up making everyone miserable over it. Is Nora there? I tried to call her earlier."

"She's here, but she doesn't want to talk to you. She's very hurt," Sarah said.

Lucas was quiet for a long, long time, absorbing this new information. Then he simply said,