Chemically stringed (Dysfunctional hearts)

chapter twenty six

I'm not the kind of girl who likes to cry about things easily, and the last time I really cried my eyes out was when Owen called me an ugly duckling but tonight, I'm breaking the clean record I've kept for straight five years and what ever I felt then, is nothing compared to how I'm feeling now

I cant even describe it. All in know is that I feel so much anguish like my heart has been ripped of my chest so hard that I'm about to die. Gosh! heart break is so painful. It hurts more than any other pain I've felt before, and the tears won't stop coming out no matter how much I've cleaned my eyes. My entire Pillow's soaked already and its passed midnight, yet it keeps falling like an endless rain. If Audrey see's me now, she'll get irritated and call me a 'cry baby' because she hates to see people cry

The irony of things is that I ought to be crying for the relationship that ended yet I'm crying for the one that never even started. It's my fault anyway. Kai gave me his heart before, and I threw it back at him so now that I've given him mine, He's also thrown it back to me in broken pieces and it really hurts to think that I may have lost Kai for good.

I finally cried myself to sleep by around three Am in the morning hoping to sleep through the morning that I wouldn't have to go to school, but my sleep was troubled so I woke up three hours later with heavy and puffy eyes that without looking in the mirror, I know are red rimmed. I also woke up having a bad feeling as if things are about to get much worse but I shove it aside concluding that things cant get as worse as I'm feeling right now

I really don't want to go to school but mom won't hear of it because she doesn't know what happened since I manage to maintain a strong face all through dinner before running to my room to spill out in silence although Isadora suspects. The thing is even if my mom knows, she'll still make me go to school because to her, heartbreak is no excuse not to go to school after all, my staying home would be only to weep

Jade comes to pick me up today with Amber's car since her mom still hasn't returned her car keys, and although Amber's getting better at driving, She still drives like a snail on the road and that people walking on foot, are faster than her in the name of safety measures. I settle on the back seat just before they both turn to me demanding answers because my eyes are still so puffy even after washing hell out of my face, that my glasses can't even cover it up so I tell them everything

"So Kai really refused you? and Owen almost forced himself on you?" Amber asks with wide disbelieving and bewildered eyes

"She just said so sunshine or did you hear gibberish?" Jade says to her before throwing me a glance since she's driving "Owen has always been a manipulative scum I know but I didn't think that he would stoop so low. lying to be what he's not and trying to force himself on you, is such a shocker and now I feel really bad"

"Why?" Amber and I asks in unison

"I imposed him on you that's why. I was always clamouring for you two to date without knowing his true colours" She confesses remorsefully

"Its fine" I shrug "You couldn't read his mind and even I was fooled for so long and you never pushed me on him. I thought I liked him but I only liked the thought of liking him because of my stupid crush back then"

"Either way I'm still sorry. We should be listening to moody more often because she was clearly against him from the start" She snorts

"Audrey's against everybody and if we listen to her too much, we may end up becoming as moody as her" I point out

"Good point" She smiles "Now back to Kai, I'm still wondering why he rejected you though"

"May be he got tired of my consistent back and forth behaviour. kissing him one day, calling him a liar the next. I also even went after him while still cozying up with my ex boyfriend" I admit bitterly "He's been waiting for me to figure him out for so long but I  did too late"