Where It Went Wrong » Larry

26 - So Happily

However, Harry just nodded with wide, earnest eyes and stared straight at Louis. "I want to tell you."

"Tell me what, hun?" 

"Everything."

Now, Louis was definitely awake and all the sleep washed away from him as he got up and cautiously pulled away from Harry's hug. He gave him a weird look, looking uncertain. 

"No, we don't need to do this right now." Louis refused straight away, shaking his head. It felt too soon to know all the details and he wasn't ready to hear them either. How could Harry be totally prepared to speak up about what has haunted him for the last three years?

Harry narrowed his eyes. "It's my choice Louis and I want to do it, right now."

Once again, he shook his head and sighed loudly. "I don't want you to regret this. This is a heavy topic, it's not something that can be discussed at this time! Harry, please, go back to bed and we'll talk about this in the morning."

"For fucksakes Louis!" He rolled his eyes, instantly looking annoyed with red cheeks. He was overly sensitive nowadays, easy to burst into tears and get offended over the smallest of things. "If I'm saying, I want to talk about this now it's because I feel like I can. Don't stop me and listen."

Louis felt helpless. He knew whatever he was going to say wasn't going to change Harry's mind. Harry was set letting go off the pain, the experiences he has had to go through and the least Louis could do was respect that and listen. Despite this gut feeling that this was going to be a huge mistake, he nodded and shuffled closer to Harry, embracing him.

"Let's start with the small details, yeah?"

Harry nodded. "I'll start from the beginning."

"If you feel like you need to stop, at any point, then feel free to do so. I'm not forcing you to open up."

"Shut up Louis and listen to me. I first got with Dalton a month and so before results day. We met online whilst I was applying for modelling agencies and so on, and he was about an hour away from me. We got talking and it felt wrong, it did because I was with you."

We weren't actually together.

"Right," Louis nodded.

"But, we met up and I don't know what took over me. He was charming, he knew all the right words to say and I thought maybe you don't like me. After all, it had been years and you still hadn't asked me out so I thought, okay maybe this will work. I just jumped into it, without thinking and I was afraid of telling anyone. Right from the start, he was wonderful and he treated me like a man-- but yet, like a little lost dog and I loved the attention. I did."

Harry paused, taking a deep breath and his face looked strained like he couldn't go on and he was forcing himself. 

Then he continued. "It moved so far, it was unbelievable. He was demanding, touchy and possessive and I hadn't felt so... submissive before and a part of me really liked it. I was naive, I listened to him and agreed to move in and yet, I was terrified of telling you. I finally gained the guts on results day. The day before results day... well, we had our first night together and he was rough. Louis, he was really rough."

Louis squeezed his eyes shut, not sure what to say and feeling his throat closing up. He didn't want to imagine any of it, he didn't want to picture them two sharing a night together. He couldn't imagine it and he hated it. However, he tried not to make a sound of protest and let Harry continue with his story. He didn't want to interrupt and seem rude.

"Rough how?"

"He... he, just liked being rough with me. You know, hair pulling and tying me up and all sorts." He shuddered. "I was a little sore for results day, had love bites all over and was walking with a slight limp. I felt awful though. It felt right but so wrong and seeing you, it made everything worst because that should've been you."