3 | in which he thinks before he leaps

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I write because I hurt,
I write because I'd rather not bleed.

.\.|./.

Ryan Falls

|in which he thinks before he leaps|

"You know you don't have to work at that stupid place, Ry. I've said it a dozen times but you never listen. Ted can get you a much better job. Hell, you don't even need a job. Go back to college and finish your degree first. You're smart. It's not fair that you have to be called a drop-out just because you moved here."

Olivia is rambling again, not looking up at me as she dumps a large spoonful of lasagna into my plate no matter how many times I tell her I'm full. I'm not full, as she states, but I don't want to tell her the truth about her disgusting cooking which is worse than starvation. I love her, yes, but she's a terrible cook.

"She's got a point, Ryan," Ted adds, his thick voice soft when he attempts to side with Olivia to calm her down. He knows how hard it is to get her to let go of things once she's riled up, and he's a good man for trying to avoid her anger like that. What I don't like is the two of them turning against me just to keep each other happy.

"I'm not saying I won't go back to college," I tell them, poking a fork at the muddy blob on my plate. "I'm just saying not yet."

"And why not?" Olivia rounds on me, her red hair crackling with electricity.

I roll my eyes and give her an exasperated look. "You know why," I remind her.

"Yeah, I do. Because you're stupid," she snaps, slumping into the chair next to Ted's.

With our current seating arrangement, I'm facing Ted and Olivia as they sit side by side and nod at everything the other says. It's almost like I'm a rebellious teenager and my frustrated parents just don't know what to do with me, so they're sitting and trying to talk sense into me.

If only my own parents had ever done that.

"Look, I'm not going to let you guys pay my tuition," I state firmly. "I'll go back to college once I have enough saved up to –"

"Ryan, we're family," Ted says before Olivia can open her mouth to remind me of the same thing. She shoots him an affectionate look, her green eyes growing softer instantly.

"I know –"

"Really? You don't act like it." This time it's Olivia who speaks and I shoot her the most venomous glare I can muster.

I huff, slumping my shoulders. "You know, this is why I don't like coming over for lunch," I tell the two of them, not really telling the truth. "You start acting like my guidance counselors and tell me you know better than I do about my own life."

"No, the reason you don't like coming for lunch is that you don't want to be a burden on us," Olivia reminds me.

Knowing how right she is but refusing to admit it, I lean back in my chair and drop my fork, folding my arms across my chest.

"What do you guys want?" I demand.

"Ryan –"

"We just want what's best for you," Ted interrupts before Olivia can go into a long and pointless debate about how I'm the dumbest person alive to be giving up on a bright future merely because I'm too stubborn to accept help.

I sigh, lowering my gaze and thinking over my words carefully before I say them. "I know you do," is all I say, rising slowly to my feet.

"Ryan, at least finish –" Olivia begins, her eyes widening.

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