Miss Incomplete | ✓

63 | He Loves Me

"No," I answer softly with the shake of my head. I turn away from his eyes and met the sun again. The sky decorated of pink, orange and blue. Gradient and blends into one another. Smooth and soft, and almost comforting just to look at. "He asked me out, but I couldn't give him an answer. Something was holding me back. I told him that we should get to know each other more during this trip before I made a decision."

"And...?"

"There wasn't anything. What I found during this trip—despite him being amazingly kind to me, and a gentleman—I didn't feel anything towards him. Like a Graham—that feeling of comfort and safety, but nothing of romance. We just didn't have it."

I found Julian's eyes again and this time, they were met with a smile. A wide grin and almost happiness that shun through his eyes. "What?"

He doesn't say anything as I doubled on my question. "How come you were acting so hostile to Gabe?"

"I think you know the answer to that question."

And I think I do.

If he was always tensed against Gabriel; if the mere mention of Gabriel made him on edge and the daggers and glares he kept sending to Gabriel when he's near me—what does that mean?

"Do you still like me?"

"I've never stopped."

And my heart begin to furiously beat against my rib cage; the pure thought on my mind was him and my skin begin to burn at the thought. I felt my heartbeat in my ear, and it was going long and hard. Strong.

I have it with him.

"Then who was the girl you brought in your car from the soccer game's after party?" I questioned, and he sighs. My heartbeat still raging.

"She was a stranger. I didn't know her but she was drunk and she tried to kiss me. I stopped her and she begin to cry; she told me her boyfriend broke up with her and she's out of her mind. What not, I told her that she should go home and she said she didn't have anyone. I offered and drove her home." He explains, and I bite my lip. "That's it."

I contemplate the whole situation. "Why didn't you say anything?" I ask quietly, and his eyes stray away from mine and look towards the sand. His hand cupping the sand, letting it drop slowly from his palm like an hourglass.

"Because you wanted a restart. You said you wanted our previous feelings to be completely wiped. I wanted to tell you—but you were so persistent that I just agreed. I held back my feelings."

"That–that wasn't what I meant." I declare, "I mean, I said that I wanted a fresh start and wanted our feelings to be completely wiped but I wanted it as something like a new chance. I don't know—I just wanted you to stop holding the hatred against me. Every bad feeling you had for me; probably a lot. I just wanted you to not think badly of me."

"Francena, I never thought badly of you."

Thump. Thump. Thump.

"In fact, it almost fucking killed me just thinking about the fact that you just want to be friends." He throws a handful of sand out in the direction and sighs, "that that's all we can ever be. It killed me to see you hanging onto Gabriel like he was the one for you. Like you liked him."

I turn away in thought. Fuck, Julian has liked me this entire time and my dumbass decided on a fresh start. We could've skipped passed all of this problem and just confess. I'm stupid.

A hand cupped under my chin and brought my attention back to him. "It's really impossible to just be friends with you, Francena."

Thump. Thump. Thump.