mileven season three

always

Her sobs had subsided and were now only shaky breaths, her chest collapsing in and out as she tried to regain her strength to breath normally. She sat on the couch, her eyes staring at her cracked and callused hands wondering what it would be like to be normal. She hated being special. 

Her body was wrapped in a number of scratchy blankets even though the midsummer weather was at an all-time high. Little traces of sunlight crept through the shut blinds onto the floor, illuminating the dust between the boards. She wished she was dust and that she could just float away. 

She laid back onto her back, letting the tears stream silently off the side of her cheeks, puddling on the pillow beneath her. She stared at the ceiling, her expression emotionless but her brain overflowing with thoughts. 

She closed her eyes and relaxed, hoping to not visit the void, but someplace else. she wondered if there was an escape from this. An ocean so deep that the water was black as night. She wanted to drown her thoughts in that ocean, waves so calm the water was still. She flinched. She couldn't find it. All she found was a different ocean.

 It was stormy and the waves were too rough to stay above the water. It was cold, the rain pounding against her face, making the saltwater stream into her eyes. She screamed, trying to stay afloat. She gasped for breath, looking for a way out. The shore was visible, but too far. She reached for it and reached for it, but it was too far away. She felt her mind slip away into the depth of the ocean. 

She opened her eyes, letting the tears spill out once more. She rolled over to one side, pulling herself into a tight ball, staring at the wall. She found herself staring at the wall quite often. 

She heard the door squeak as it opened, but there were no footsteps. Whoever was visiting her had stopped walking. She made no effort to turn around and see who it was. 

"El." 

She stared at the wall, now knowing exactly who it was. She didn't move. The footsteps were light as he made his way over to the bed. She felt the mattress shift as he sat down on it, placing a hand on her back. She flinched at his touch, but he didn't move. They sat in silence. 

"El," He asked again, brushing a piece of hair away from her face. She shook her head. He sighed and removed his hand. She rolled over slightly to see if he was leaving, but all she saw was the sadness filling his eyes. She looked at him, her eyes rimmed with red from the crying and her face still wet from fresh tears. 

"Oh my god," He whispered, taking her face in his hands. The tears started flowing from her again. She kept everything to herself, all her secrets were kept behind a thick concrete wall locked by a key that she threw away. When he looked at her, it felt as if the key had turned and the walls began to crumble, everything spilling out into the world. 

Her face scrunched up in his hands as she tried to keep from crying, but he knew better. He scooted forward and silently pulled her into a hug, allowing her to cry into his shoulder. He stroked her hair, feeling his t-shirt begin to soak through from the salty tears. He rested his chin on her head and sighed again. 

His heart was wrenching. Seeing her like this was painful, his heart feeling like it had been ripped from his body and squished in front of his own eyes. She was so hurt. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Her sobs were softer now, but he knew it wasn't over. 

Ever since the other kids had found out about her and what she could do, she was a victim of their tormenting. The psychological warfare that went on was like none other. The kids on one side, armed with years of firsthand worldly experience, their guns loaded with insults that shot straight through the heart, killing you slowly and painfully. El on the other, fresh into the world with nothing but whatever the soap operas taught her. She had no weapons in this game. 

Sure, El had special powers, but she was too afraid to use them. The kids had words as their weapons, a universal language that everybody understood. El, however, was the weapon. She was scared of herself. The kids only made it worse. She knew better than to fight back. She knew the consequences but wasn't afraid of them. She was afraid of herself. 

"You're stronger than them."

She continued to cry, trying to drown out the noise of his reassurance. She didn't need to hear it because her body was already scarred with the names she had been called, her skin was laced with the words they spoke and her bloodstream was clouded with the remarks spit at her. She was stuck in a hole and it was too deep for her to crawl out. 

"You know that right? That you are the strongest person I have ever met?" 

She stayed in his arms, the warmth from his body more comfortable than a thousand blankets. She never wanted to leave his grasp. 

"Look at me," He said, putting her face back in his hands. She watched as his face contorted with many emotions; grief, sadness, pain and hurt.

"I don't want you to hide this from me anymore. Ok?" 

She nodded, the sunlight reflecting off her tears. 

"I am always, here. Always," he said, nodding his head as he emphasized his words. 

"I want you to tell me who is saying these things to you." 

Her eyes widened, she was scared he was going to hurt them. Mike realized this and released his hands from her face, shaking his head. 

"I would never. I just want to make sure I know who so I can help you stay away from them. This isn't something that only you have to deal with," He said, wiping a tear off her cheek. 

"El," Mike whispered. She nodded. 

"Say something," He whispered again, wanting to make sure that the real El, the fun and daring El wasn't gone. He winced thinking about that, the fact that she might have been so emotionally scarred that she would never be the same. She sniffed. 

"I'm here," She whispered. Mike pursed his lips together in a weak smile, his bottom lip trembling. He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. she felt the warmth of his lips press against her forehead. If she was in a hole, she was beginning to see the top. It was a long ways away, but she knew she would get there. 

"El," Mike whispered. 

"Yeah?" She whispered back, her voice trembling. Mike pulled her into a hug and felt her heart against his. El let her tears come back once again, the feeling to be strong had diminished. She was allowed to feel vulnerable. Mike stroked her hair and stared out the small corner in the blinds where the sun was peaking in. 

"I love you." 

He felt her relax into his chest, a feeling he had craved for so long. Her fragile body was leaning against his. She was made of out glass, broken and scattered. He felt her slowly piece back together one at a time, like an intricate puzzle. He let out a long sigh, squeezing her in tighter. 

"I love you, and I always will." 

just some good ol' sadness for your wednesday. sorry, i haven't written in a while, im so busy and have no idea what to write... comment suggestions! don't forget to comment and vote. love y'all