Colin Ritman|Bandersnatch

Hanahaki AU

(Could u believe I found out about this fictional disease today?lmao Its when a person's love is one sided and a flower grows in their lungs, forgive me if this is horrible lol)

I peacefully scrub the soapy water against a thick black mug. Being a housekeeper had its perks, it was almost always quiet and I had a lot of time to think.

"Hey" I hear the usually monotonous voice near the elevator. It automatically adds a smile to my face.

"Welcome home Colin" I bow as he walks in the living room. I place the mug upside down on the drying rack, wiping my hands with a clean cloth.

"I picked up something from the store... thought you might like it" he sets a small lime green gift bag on the side of the sink.

He turns his back on me, rummaging through the fridge. My heart skips a beat, he was thinking about me.

My throat itches, I place my hand over my mouth, coughing violently. The light blue petals, lay gently in my palm.

"You alright?" Colin asks, twisting the cap off his water.

"Yes" I smile, stuffing the petals in my pocket. My smiles becomes more real as I pluck the tissue paper out the gift bag.

It was a glass figurine of a sea turtle. I gently place it back in the bag for safe keeping.

"Thank you Colin, it's very pretty" I smile warmly.

"Could you pick up Pearl from choir practice, even though she can't carry a tune to save her life" he descends to his room.

"I think she sings beautifully" I brush off his rude comment with a small giggle. My throat starts clogging up again and I slightly panic.

"That's why your her favorite" he adds.

He wasn't the only person I loved, I loved his whole entire life, I loved his daughter like she was my own as well as his home.

Once I hear his door close, I release the cough I was holding back. I double over, holding my stomach as the icy blue petals flutter to the tile floor.

I frantically pick them up before Colin can come back because he needs his lighter. I throw them all away, including the ones in my pocket.

"Have you seen my lighter?" Colin asks through the doorway.

"Right here" I flick on the flame, connecting it to the tip of his smoke. It was my favorite thing to do ever, just to see the small flame add more light to his soft lips.

"Don't know what I'd do without you" he mumbles. If only he could say it like he loves me.

"Me either" I grab my keys, heading down the elevator to pick up Pearl, Colin's daughter. His wife divorced him a little while back, I got hired a few months after that.

I struggle to breath through the whole ride there, the stem and roots tickled my lungs. I rested my forehead against the steering wheel, taking a moment to suck in a deep breath.

I immediately regret it, forcing open the car door, bending over to cough out the slightly bloody petals. The pain in my throat could easily match the pain my heart.

I pull myself out the car, fast walking to the school's sidewalk. Pearl immediately recognizes me, she grabs onto my hand in a fit of giggles.

"Did you have a good day today?" I pull together a fake smile.

The next day was even worse, I didn't expect it to grow this fast. I was running out of time that I desperately wanted.

Whatever I do both outcomes would be sad for me. If I got it surgically removed then all my love for Colin would be gone, It would be like I never even knew him.

If it stays then the roots would clog my lungs and I would die, both options would cause me to loose my job so it really doesn't matter. Even if I did decide to do the surgery what happens if I get a bad homeowner.

Pearl was in the bath and Colin watching tv in the living room. This was the perfect time.

"Can I have a word?" I ask, looking down at my shoes.

"Yeah" he stands up, turning the tv off, getting me a water from the fridge. We stand on the balcony, looking down at the busy road.

"I have to resign as your housekeeper, I'm really really sick" I explain, fiddling with my fingers.

He seems to catch on with what I'm saying but not exactly what I'm talking about.

"Can your illness be cured?" He looks back at the open bathroom door. "She really likes you, would be a shame to see you go"

"Uhm it can but I won't do it.... I'm sorry" I drop my head in shame, not wanting to look at my miserable self through his glasses.

I slightly wheeze each time I take a breath, practically feeling the vines squeeze my fragile lungs.

"That's pretty selfish don't you think?" He asks with no emotion.

I slightly chuckle that dramatically turns into a cough, I spit out more blood than petals this time.

"It's not selfish, I promise" I wheeze, easing myself on the rails.

"I'm calling a ambulance" he snatches his phone out his pocket.

"No! It's too late, I'm sorry that this is my fault, I fell in love with your life, I have myself to blame but I couldn't forget you-" I start choking, my lungs finally giving in.

My legs turn to jelly as I collapse to the ground. I tried to make it out of here before it could happen, but I wasn't fast enough.

My mouth stretches open as I try to get in a last few breaths. It all abruptly ends, I'm no longer a person but a sad excuse of failed independence story. I'm now a painful blue flower, a symbol for the future.

I knew what Colin saw as the paramedics came to take me away.

A broken girl with a tall icy blue flower stretched out my mouth. A mini garden of blue petals across my chest.

Maybe the flower was blue because my love for you was cold or maybe it was Colin that was cold but to me He was light and I'm happy I got the opportunity to love him.

I was happy and I still am.