Keske Moments

Different this time

Sanem: Can, please don't stay for me. I don't want to hold you back. If you need space. I want you to have that.

Can: I'm staying for us. I belong to you and you belong to me. We are connected. I just want another chance. What do you say?

....

Sanem: I don't know what to say. I just keep thinking what if.

Can: What if?

Sanem: We are both so impulsive and stubborn... god we are both stubborn.

Can: We can work through it together.

Sanem: (shaking her head) That's not it.... I have brought out the worst in you. I mean I there was a time where I thought I helped keep you calm but now it's just bitter.

Can: Sanem, that is not on you. Please know that. I let my jealousy get in the way.

Sanem: No Can, I hurt you. Okay, I broke your trust on more than one occasion. I made you miserable and I made myself miserable. The things we keep doing to each other have to stop. I'm not good for you. You have options. Don't throw it all away for me.

Can: Sanem, Polen was never an option- (she cut him off)

Sanem: Can, this isn't about Polen. This is more than that. It's you're lifestyle and needs. I can't handle this. I'm terrified the next time I screw up you will leave me.

Can: I won't! I promise you.

Sanem: You can't promise that. We are bound to keep repeating the past. It's simple I screw up to protect you, then you yell at me, and then you leave.

Can: We can make things different this time. We never gave ourselves the chance. Not really anyway. I never wanted it to be like this.

Sanem: I know, but here we are. (tears in her eyes) I have to be honest about something else.

Can: What is it?

Sanem: I'm afraid of you.

Can: What?

Sanem: (she cleared her throat and looked up) I'm afraid of you.

Can: You mean that night at the hut?

Sanem: (now looking down) Yes.

There was a long silence between them.

Sanem: (she looked up at him) I have never been yelled at like that in my life. Not even by my parents. I still have nightmares about it sometimes.

Can: Sanem, I have never been more ashamed in my life than I was that night. I'm such an idiot.

Sanem: (she chuckled) We're both idiots.

Can: Can you forgive me? I am begging you please forgive me.

Sanem: I forgive you. I just know that for me I can't go back to that.

Can: I agree. Can we move forward? Together.

Sanem: I hope so.

Can: So back to my earlier question. Can we give ourselves another chance?

Sanem: Yes.

Can: This time we will be honest with one another. No games and no yelling ever. I love you.

Sanem: No games and full honesty. I love you too.

Can: I do have a request.

Sanem: Huh? What do you mean?

Can: I want to talk to your parents.

Sanem: Talk to my parents? Why?

Can: I need them to know where I stand. I need them to know this is the last time I will be dating anyone.

Sanem: Oh, I see.

Can: Yes, you see I need to let them know that the next time I will formally meet with them I will be asking them permission to marry you.

Sanem: What?

Can: You and me are endgame. I knew it the first day I saw you.

Sanem: I know. (smiling at him)

Can: Beloved, can we go back to bed?

Sanem: Of course.

That night he kept telling her how much he loved her and stroked her hair until she fell asleep. They held each other until morning.

______________________________________________________________________

Sanem was awoken by the smell of food. She slept so well with Can it was like they have done it all of their lives. She looked around smiling that she was in Can's room thinking it could be their room. He was so serious about their future she started to envision it. She found one of his sweatshirts to wear and walked out to the kitchen. Can was humming some song to himself full of life.

Sanem: (she lightly coughed to get his attention) Guynadin beloved. Smells great! I'm starving.

He walked over to her hugging her tightly and kissed her. He lifted her up as he kissed her. Naturally she wrapped her legs around his waist. She hugged onto him like the koala she felt she was.

Can: My love, I want to spend the day with you. Can we play hooky from work?

Sanem: Sure. Can you put me down?

Can: Only if you kiss me again.... (they smiled at each other and she kissed him)

Sanem: Can we eat now?

Can: Of course!