I don't remember much about how I felt before I came out. All I remember is walking around confused every day, wondering why everyone else seemed fine with their bodies when I was hiding in a shell. I became as close as I could to my mom, i clung to her. I became really affectionate, and I still am. I hug her and I talk to her all the time, she is my favorite person in the house. I always got jealous of girls. I'd look at other girls and wish to be like them. Some strange things came out of that but that's not the topic were on. I ended up trying to mask myself. I was afraid if I associated myself with the girls at school I would be ridiculed, so I made a group of male friends. I know now that I much prefer the company of females, they're just more fun to be around and somewhat "relate" to in my experience. The majority of my current friend groups have at least two or three females who I prefer to talk to, except for my main group of friends in school, whom are all boys. My ex-girlfriend used to be in the group but everyone got annoyed of her and ditched her because she was trying to push people out of the friend group.
It is hard to remember things before I came out. But after I did, I know I felt relieved that at least I wasn't alone in how I felt.
YOU ARE READING
Once a Lemon Boy
Non-FictionTo be honest, this is mainly a vent journal. Let me open up my life to you. Living through childhood as someone who is trans can be rough, and i'm just here to document my experience. Male to Female
