Vegetarian Love

Ino

"Maureen, can we talk?"
My officemate Faye asked me. I just took a deep breath. Oh no. Bryan must have been told her. That bastard.

We went to a vacant room. "Please sit." She said.

"Why?" I asked

"I know what's happening with you. Bryan told me that you asked him and slapped him." She said. Bryan is her brother. Younger brother. We met because of Faye. I'm in the club, it's a company party then Faye was there. And for some reason her brother was there too. She introduced us Bryan then we talked after.

Faye is a kind sister. Bryan is still childish at some point but I don't know what happened. I mean he said he likes me. I thought it's something that would brought joy and peace for myself. But it wasn't. It's just a fling like no string attached. Yeah. No string attached. I guess.

He went to the club a couple of times and always have the effort to be with me, in my house, even in my work. He'll tell us that he's here for Faye. But he will stay with me. Until the day I confronted him. He's the last guy i have done it because i thought he really likes me. I thought there is something between us. I thought it's serious. I just thought..

"Mau, are you okay?" Faye

I just thought I'm loved. Finally.

"Mau, are you listening?!" Faye raised her voice. I got back on myself.

"Sorry, it's just im thinking a lot of things." I told her

"I understand. Im somehow disappointed for what happened to you. Please stop seeing my brother. He likes you, but not to the point he'll give up himself to you. Because you have that case." She said

I just nod. I felt so little and I am so ashame of myself. But need to put up a strong face.

"Bryan's still young. He's childish. He'll learn a lot." I just said. Getting paused by my sentences to prevent my tears to fall as my voice will eventually crack.

"I know. Bryan is negative. He got tested. And he realized that what he felt was just lust. I'm sorry. I know it's hard, but I need to tell you this." Faye said. Her eyes were worried. You can see her kind soul looking at you.

"I know. It's just a fling for sex. The feeling is mutual Faye, so no worries" i said while trying to do a fake laugh

She just stared at me trying to analyze how I really feel. I can feel it. She pity me.

"No worries Faye. It's just a short time that benefits him and benefits me. It's nothing personal. And congrats to him that he doesn't have any health issues." I explained. Stupid! Don't you dare look at me like I'm a trash.

"Mau, I'm still your friend. I know you're not open and you are strong. But if you need help, I'll do my best to help you." She said then took my hand and she invited me to pray. She closed her eyes and bowed her head. She started to call for Jesus and asking if there is a way for me to have a good life, an easier treatment and she's hoping there's a miracle that will happen to me.

I'm just looking at her face while sincerely praying. Why does people .. Gina and Faye.. who are they in my life that they're doing this? They're always calling for God to help me. I tried many times since I was a kid. Nahh. It does not brought me anything.

I don't know.
I just feel so alone all of my life.

5PM, Gina fetched me at work. She said, she'll make sure I got to my appointment to the doctor.

So, we went to the doctor. Silvia and Gina just talked on how I've done for the past days about the yoga and eating a lot of healthy stuffs. Yeah I'm like a vegetarian.

I miss chips so much.

She gave me medecines again and also got some blood from me to test again.

After a couple of days she called me and said that there's no improvement yet with the virus. So it's nuetral. I guess it's still a good news? I mean the virus' DNA is not decreasing and not increasing.

I was asked to go back again to her but Gina is busy so she cannot come with me in the hospital. I asked Gina to book a grab for me since no taxi around the area. I waited for 5 minutes for it to arrive. Then it arrived, a black toyota stopped infornt of me. I got into the car and asked his name to verify.

"Ino?" I asked

He looked at me and nod. "Yes mam"

I was caught on a traffic. Damn. I texted Silvia that I'm gonna be late. She replied, 'ok. Will wait for you.'

"Sorry mam, there's an on going parade" Ino said

"What parade?" I asked

"Oh, an HIV/AIDS Awareness. According to the float there" he pointed the float i can barley see since there are a lot if cars.

"Most people nowadays are infected." He said

"I know. I'm one of them too" i just said bluntly

He looked at me surprised.

"Really mam? What's up?" He joked

"Im not joking Ino. I have HIV. That's why we're going to the hospital. I have an appointment with my doctor." I explained. Nahh who cares though? It's not like we're gonna see each other again.

"How does it feel to have HIV?" He asked

"Hmm.. well first you'll feel sick. It won't go away easily. It will came back after you feel okay. Then it's kinda disappointing to know that you have that kind of serious infection." I explained

"You got kids? Or husband? Boyfriend?"

"I got flings. A lot." I just said.

"Oh that's why" Ino

"Yeah." Me

And silence..
maybe he felt awkward from what I just said. Nahh I don't care. I just want to see a reaction of someone regarding my case. Are they gonna stay away? Or just feel nuetral? Idk.

"Are you hungry? I got some bread. With lettuce and tomatoes with cheese." He offered me a pack of sandwich while smiling.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you." I said and just smiled back

"Well, the parade's gonna take some time since there are many people out there" he pointed at some part of the parade where people giving freebies and pliers.

I just accepeted the sandwich. He got his' too. He ate it.. so do I.

I feel like so I'm a vegetarian. Full of vegetables and fruits. It sucks.

"So you owned the car?" I asked him

"Yeah. I just part time to have extra income" Ino

"But do you have a full time work?"

"Yeah. I have. It's just sometimes I want to feel a different environment. Office is full of stress and it not getting better until the end of your shift. So i decided to take a leave and just do a part time driver." Ino

"Oh. I hope i can do that too. Quit my job and just stay at home" i said

"I guess in your case, you can't. Unless someone supports your needs or if you're rich"

"Yeah. Im poor in everything though. Got no time and money to spend." I said

We just talked there like for an hour. I started to get comfortable as he share some stories with me without seeing him hesitant.

Until i arrived at the hospital.

"thank you so much" i said while getting off his car.

"hey, i didnt get your name." He said.

" no need to" i said while smiling

"Thank you" i said as a goodbye then immedietly went to my doctor