A Dreamers Dream

Showtime. Toronto, Canada.

"It's not like I could have asked someone else outside of the business to step in when my wannabe singer girlfriend was in the next room. Fairly certain I'd have been in the dog house for that! But honestly, you've no need to worry, this is just a chance for her to fulfil a dream, it may be the only one she gets."

The only one? Does he not believe in me? My heart sinks so much for being sweet...

"Besides, it's not like she's even singing her own stuff, she's not ready for that. She's just gonna sing a couple of covers, the set will probably last all of twenty minutes."

Not ready for that? Maybe if I had been given more than nineteen hours warning, I could have played one of my own songs... It was Harry's suggestion that I stick to covers, he figured it would be less pressure on me that way. He ends his sentence with a booming laugh, as though it's the funniest thing he's ever said and unwelcome tears prick the corners of my eyes.

I start to slowly back away from Harry's voice. The voice I was so desperately running towards not a moment ago for solace, which is now cutting through me like a knife. I have to get out of here, I need air, I need to be away from him, I don't want to hear whatever else he has to say. Turning on my heel and being incredibly glad that I haven't put on the stupid high heeled boots I've decided to wear for my stage debut this evening and am still in my comfy converse, I start to sprint back down the long corridor towards the fire exit that is being flanked by a large security guard that I don't recognise. I don't slow down as I approach him and he raises his eyebrows at me questioningly, clearly wondering if I am being chased, he looks behind me before calling out,

"Everything OK?"

"Fine. Just need some air." I call out as my feet pound down the carpet towards him.

He reaches out and swings the door open, shooting me a sympathetic smile.

"Just knock when you wanna come back in alright?" He says, but I barely hear him as I barrel out of the door and push it forcefully closed behind me.

A rush of hot air hits my already too warm skin as I finally come to a stop and bend over, placing my hands on my knees as I suck in deep lungfuls of oxygen and try and get my breath back after my sprint and part of me wishes I hadn't opted to leave the air-conditioned arena. A thousand thoughts run through my head, making my heart pound even faster in my chest.

He doesn't believe in me. He only asked me to do this because he thought I'd get upset if he called in someone else. Someone who he does believe in, someone he thinks will have more than one chance gracing a stage like this. My tears have now completely dried as anger courses through me. "It's not like she's even singing her own stuff." Well, there's a real easy way to rectify that little backhanded insult isn't there? It's just going to be me up there with my guitar if I start singing something unexpected, what are they going to do? Stop the show and pull me off stage? Unlikely.

Harry's perspective.

"Besides, it's not like she's even singing her own stuff, she's not ready for that. She's just gonna sing a couple of covers, the set will probably last all of twenty minutes." I tell Kasey as I pace around the huge empty room I ducked into to have this chat when I saw her name pop up on my phone, I figured she'd be looking for a little bit of reassurance, it can't be easy to have to 'call in sick' to a gig like this and then to know that someone else, not just anyone else, but the headliner's girlfriend of all people, is stepping up to take your place. The last thing I want the poor woman to think is that I am replacing her in any way. Of course, I can't wait to see Maddie up there tonight, but I would never dream of putting her on stage if Kasey were well enough to perform.

"Seriously though Kasey I don't think I've ever been so fucking proud of someone. She's had less than twenty-four hours to prepare for this, talk about being thrown in at the deep end, but she didn't back down from the challenge, I reckon I'm more nervous than she is! No doubt she'll end up being bloody amazing, and it'll be me that'll need to worry about their job, not you!" I chuckle, hoping that I haven't come across as too much of a sap. As much as I don't want Kasey to worry, I want her to know how impressed I am that Maddie even agreed to do this, in the same position with so little time to rehearse, I'm not sure that I would have done.