bad expectations | jfg

15

A week has passed and me and Jack haven't spoken a single word to each other, but I've been fine.

We usually go out on the boat everyday and meet up with the boys across the lake, I've purposely been speaking consecutively to Mike, and purposely trying my best to ignore Cooper, for obvious reasons.

Jack attempts to have fun with the guys but I know me and Mike piss him off, which really does confuse me.

As I wake up and I turn over to look at my phone, my mom nor my dad have contacted me since school ended, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I can't say I miss the two of them, but it hurts knowing they don't even care where I've been.

My dad, I genuinely understand. He is always busy but my mom has no excuse considering she's in the position to talk to me, text me and check up on me.

I slide out of bed and look at myself in the mirror, All i see are dark circles under my eyes and my hair is a lighter brown now that I've been going outside all day. I lift my shirt up and look at my stomach, I turn to the side, examining it. I've lost much weight the past week, not meaning to, my mind just hasn't been focused on eating. It's not like I'm losing weight because I'm upset about Jack but my mind has just been boggled and shuffled in the wrong way these past few days and I just can't find my appetite. 

I do miss Jack, I will admit that immediately. But I miss the Jack he was pretending to be, not the real one.

I know the others wanted to go on the boat again today, but I wasn't in the mood. I looked at myself in the mirror as I wore loose basketball shorts and a warm fleece, I did look like trash, but that was nothing new.

I sighed and opened my door. I bumped into hardness immediately, of course. As soon as our skin rubbed together my head shot up. My face burned as I glimpsed up at Jack and I tore my eyes from his, "sorry." He mumbles.

I open my mouth to say its fine but close it, his hand quickly removes from my arm before he continues down the hall into his room.

I sigh, he hasn't spoken a word to me in what feels like forever, but it's only been about seven days.

I slowly walk down stairs and see Mallory at the dinner table, "morning." She murmurs.

I give her a small smile, "how are you doing?" She pulls her eyebrows together, she's asked me this every single morning since me and Jack stopped talking and every morning I've answered,

"Fine."

I open the fridge and take out the orange juice, I shuffle my feet across the tile to get a glass and pour myself a cold cup.

I sip it and savor the sweet taste, I haven't had breakfast for a week, only orange juice and some water. I have some snacks on the boat but that's all I really need, the sun dries me out.

"You ready?" Sam emerges from the stairs, I look at him and back down at my cup. I circle it around and watch the liquid move, trying to distract myself.

"Yeah," Mal answers and gets up, "you're not coming?" She questions

I shake my head and give a fake smile. Her eyes are sad, I know she wants me to come with but I'm not in the mood, and I just woke up.

I hear a few foot steps and see the Jacks coming down the stairs, they're both dressed in swim trunks and muscle tees, I quickly take my eyes of the two of them and look at the floor.

"You not coming?" Johnson asks. I shake my head.

I know he wants to ask why, but he leaves it at that, which I appreciate.