bad expectations | jfg

64

Mr. Sanders asked if I wanted to take a few manuscripts home with me, only by my choice. Just because I'm not doing anything and maybe when I'm in the hospital, I could go over a few.

I love reading new stories because I feel super powerful that no one has read them besides me, and maybe me sending it off could start a life for someone. That's something that I've always thought was cool.

"Does Jack like," Jenn shrugs as she faces towards the stove, away from me. She made me breakfast this morning without me asking or anything, I think she cooks to get her mind off things, "have any girlfriends? Back in New York?"

I rip a piece of bacon off the long strip and bite into it before my mind trails back to Sydney. I don't know what happened that night when Jack came to my apartment crying, but I don't think it was anything bad.

"Sort of." I mumble with a smile.

"Hmm." She lightly murmurs and my grin widens as she turns around, "what's her name?" She tries to seem nonchalant and uninterested but I can tell she's super anxious for me to continue.

"Sydney." I take a sip of milk.

"Sydney? Like Australia?"

I laugh, "yeah."

"What's she look like?"

I shrug, "little, short, freckle-y."

Jenn smiles as she washes the greasy pan in the sink, shaking her blonde hair, "I hope she doesn't screw him over."

My smile fades at her bluntness but she's just speaking her mind. "Me too." I mumble. Jack doesn't deserve to be played with, especially considering how good of a person he is. The worst things happen to the best people.

"It's just," she pauses as she puts the pan back in a cabinet, "Mallory was so nice. And I think she really liked him for awhile. It's like, I know that Gilinsky is more..." She looks for a word, "'classically' better looking than my boy. That's always how it's been for them, Jack acts like he doesn't care but I know he does." She puts her fingers up in quotations to balance out what she's trying to say. I bite the inside of my cheek and my stomach feels sick all of a sudden.

She looks sad when she says it to, I would never think of Johnson as insecure but maybe he is, in someways. I think he's attractive, I always have. Both of the Jack's are and I personally don't think "one is better looking than the other" because they don't look alike enough to compare against. I understand what his mom is trying to say though, it makes sense, and it makes me sad.

"Mallory was messed up towards the end of Junior year." I nod, "Sydney's nice, though. Maybe she'll be good for him." I try to convince myself. I wouldn't say "Jack deserve a girl" but he deserves to be happy, and maybe Sydney will be the reason for that.

_____

When we got to the hospital, it was just Jack and I. Jenn said she wanted to go later so she could talk to John alone and we both thought that was a good idea. They made us wait extra long though, something about how he was getting therapy and we had to be in the hallway a long time. So I read manuscripts and let Johnson go through some too.

"What's that one about?" He nods towards the folder in my hand.

We're sitting outside of his dad's room in the hall, both of our backs against the separate walls. I like this for some reason, the positions make it easy to talk.

"Want me to read it?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Please do." He smiles and sets the one he was holding onto the tile floor next to him.