"I was quiet, but I was not blind."
—Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
Not every introvert is shy.
In fact, the two have very different definitions; being an introvert means you get your energy from being alone, and being shy means that you are reserved or nervous around other people. While introversion is a part of your temperament, shyness is an overlying personality trait.
As someone who is both, I know firsthand some of the challenges that come with finding people both draining and intimidating.
For me, the hardest thing is wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely.
I don't want attention, and I find reaching out to people to be quite the hill to climb, so I'm often tempted to hole up in my room with a good book and a cup of tea where I can imagine the world away. But I am a human and humans need interaction, and I inevitably end up stumbling out of the darkness of my bedchamber in search of other people's company.
It is a catch-22, if you will. I do my best to refill my social tank or at least keep myself from running on empty, but after a little while spent around others, even people that I'm close to, I feel the urge to slink back to the shadows from whence I came with my book under one arm and a cat under the other. The cycle repeats itself. It never seems to end.
I have tried to problem solve this "lonely but wants to be alone" issue time and time again, and making friends with people online has been the closest I've come to finding a solution. I can chat with people here without having to see them face to face or try and explain myself out loud, and better still, I can do it from the quiet comfort of my own room.
Still, there always comes a time when I need to really be around people, and in those moments I cling to the hope that maybe my introvert side will wait to kick in for long enough to let me get some positive interaction, and refill the old social tank enough to keep me going.
Like anything else, it's a challenge, but at least I'm not the only one who gets it. It may be that not all introverts are shy, but enough of them are that we don't have to be alone. Well, not unless we want to be.
Are you shy? What do you find to be the most challenging aspect of it?
