Time & Tide - Original Wattpad Version

Chapter Thirty-Three: In Which Jessie Makes a Homecoming

"Jessie," she whispered back. She dropped her reticule on the floor, surged forward, threw herself up against me, and enveloped in an embrace so fast I nearly toppled back into the wall. The door to the dining room swung closed behind me. Margaret buried her face against my neck and breathed deep and I couldn't help but turn my own face into the side of her bonnet, smelling her hair, hardwired still to want to lick and nibble along her ear.

Something inside me swelled, something hot and wet pooling low in my stomach, my heart fluttering against my rib cage. Margaret pulled back, lifted a gloved hand and ran the palm over my cheek, her thumb along my bottom lip. Then she pulled back pinched my bruised cheek hard.

"Ow!" I said, pushing her away and cradling my smarting cheek. "What was that for?"

"I thought you lost!" Margaret hissed at me, lashes spiking with tears that hadn't yet fallen. I had hoped that the sparkle had been tears of relief, but maybe they were anger. "I thought you...come upon the town!"

"Come a what now?"

"Upon the... oh, for heaven's sake; I thought you ruined. Your..." she coloured and made an aborted gesture at my belly button. "You left with no money, I had no inclination of how you could have supported yourself if not for-- the, the worst of... my imagination ran rampant, Jessie, and I was awake every night imagining horrible, wretched--"

"I'm already 'ruined,' Margaret," I said, unable to help the ridiculous goofy grin that just being back in presence brought out. It was better to joke that to admit that I had just, intentionally or not, made myself a Black Widow. "You made a pretty thorough job of that."

"I thought you a prostitute," she snapped, peevish with attempt at lightness. "And then when it came out that you had run away to London with the Cooper lad to be married. To think that you had cast me aside with such speed...!"

"Whoa, wait," I said, pushing her back an arm's length, but gently. "You were the one who kicked me out!"

"Which I regret it every moment of every day. Curse you!" she snarled, but the bottom of her eyes danced in the candle light. She yanked at the ribbon of her bonnet irritably, tossing her hat on to the table so she could brush her hair back in frustration."We did not know where you were! You were just gone. Curse you for making me love you." Margaret sobbed, and crowded me back against the wall and kissed me.

And I should have been mad. I should have been livid.

But I'd said things in anger and fear that I didn't mean before, especially when I first struggling with coming out. Boy, had I. And I had apologized. And my partner and I had moved forward. But Margaret and I hadn't had to opportunity to do so.

There weren't cell phones here. I couldn't text an apology, ask to talk, to work things out. I had just left, like she'd told me to. And I hadn't exactly provided her with a forwarding address, either.

I wasn't going to take all the blame for this. But I wasn't going to let Margaret off the hook about it either. There was going to have to be a long talk. A very long one. Probably more shouting. Definitely more tears. And eventually, forgiveness.

But for now?

The kissing was good.

"Come upstairs," I murmured against her mouth. "I'll have everyone lock up. Come upstairs with me. I missed you."

"I missed you so much," Margaret sobbed.

I reached forward, slowly, and tucked her up under my arm, breathed into her hair. "I'm sorry, Margaret," I whispered. "I wanted to come back to you. For you. I really did. Cooper was just a safety net. I promise. But Rose, your mother ... I'm sorry. You said you could never, and it was you who told me that women could only be wives or whores... I'm sorry."