A Dreamers Dream

Secrets out. Hershey, Pennsylvania, USA.

"Oh, so NOW you want to talk to me?" I bite back through gritted teeth as Maddie pushes her chair back and grabs hold of my hand.

"Not here, Sammy, please. I'll explain everything I promise," she says pleadingly and starts to try and drag me towards the cafeteria door. I don't bother trying to protest, to be honest, I want to hear what excuses she is going to try and come up with to explain why she's lied to me for so long, so I move along behind her willingly enough. "Sorry folks! Shows over!" I call back over my shoulder to the gawking crew members, a couple of which have the decency to at least look abashed at their behaviour, I catch Clark's eye as we turn out of the doors, half out of his chair, clearly wondering whether or not he should follow us. I shake my head in his direction, this is a conversation that Maddie and I need to have alone.

She leads me out of the building, down a small flight of steps and over to the far side of the backstage area, where we're definitely not at risk of being overheard, I can barely hear myself think as the huge speakers on either side of the stage blare out Harry's voice as he happily sings away to Carolina, typically one of my favourites of his, but right now I am not in the mood for the upbeat track. When Maddie finally comes to a stop, I follow suit a few feet away from her and immediately cross my arms over my chest and adopt a protective stance.

"How long?" Is all I can manage to say after a couple of moments of silence.

"Since Melbourne." She admits looking at the ground and fiddling with the rings on her fingers, she can't even meet my eyes for fuck's sake.

"And at no point over the last what, seven weeks? Did you think to bother to tell me that you're sleeping with Harry?" I snap at her, getting more frustrated by the moment, why bother to drag me out here if she's just going to stand there staring at the ground barely speaking?

"Of course, I did! I wanted to tell you! But things kept getting in the way! At first, I didn't even know what it was between him and me, and I guess I didn't want to say anything to anyone in case it turned out to be nothing, and then we had our week off after the Asian leg and, and I knew then," She stutters over her words. "I knew that I was more than just another notch on his bedpost and I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared, Sammy! I've never even had a proper boyfriend before and there I was dating Harry bloody Styles! I was scared that you, that everyone would just think I was sleeping with him to further my career, or that I was some kind of gold digger!"

"If you honestly thought for one minute that I would think that! ME! I'm your best fucking friend, Maddie! I've told you everything about Freddie and me, probably more than you really wanted to hear realistically but never mind, and you didn't trust me enough to tell me that you were even seeing him! Not only that, but you even lied to my face when I asked you if something was going on between you!"

"I know, and I felt like shit about it! I kept meaning to tell you I swear! And then everything happened in Brazil with Novak, and I was going to leave. Him, you, the tour, fucking all of it! I was so done with all the bullshit that kept being thrown at me over and over again, I just wanted to go back to my simple little life back in England."

"But you didn't did you! You stayed! So why not tell me then?" I ask her, my voice slightly calmer now but not by much and I still have to raise it anyways to make sure she can hear me over Harry who is currently midway through his version of Stockholm Syndrome. Seriously the boy's album is FULL to the brim of melancholy tear-jerking hits and its these two upbeat, fairly cheerful songs that he has to be playing whilst Maddie and I are having this fucking conversation?

"I was going to! I was going to tell you in Florida, but then I came back to our room that morning, and you had just broken up with Freddie, and I felt like I'd be the biggest fucking bitch on the planet if I started gushing to you about my wonderful relationship when yours had just come crashing down around your shoulders!"