i love him // E.G.D

o n e

4 years later

Kyla

Me and Ethan have been on and off for the past 3months due to our work his youtube has been keeping him busy since Grayson has been hassiling him to do this and that, my modelling courier has been pulling me in and out of the house and we havent had any time to spend together.

"Thats it" ethans sigh flopping on his bed as i sit on mine across the room, "what ethan" i sadly look at him "i cant just sit here and act like i still dont love you work has me in a loop and i cant spend time with you" he says running his hand thorugh his hair stressing out as i walk over to him and sit down.

"We can do this ethan" i rub his back as he sighs and looks at me a tear forms and rolls down his left cheek "but you dont get it ky im actually hating myself" he wipes his eye "im literally inlove with you but it sucks" he chuckles. All i could do is look at his now red puffy face as he tales a deep breath "this shit isnt fear its been 3 months" he stands up as i stand up with him "kyla nothing can stop me from loving you" huge masses of tears began to roll down his eyes. Panic Attack.

"I cant bare to be by myself" he runs his hand through his hair as he paces around his half of the room as i rush infront of him to stop him, he stares at me as i stop it... well the only way i knew i could stop it. I kissed him as i wipe his cheek as he closes his eyes, i pull away from him as he smiles and engulfs me in a hug "like i said im not leaving your side" i say stroking his hair as he cries into my neck "i love you ok" i sigh as my heart melts as his sobbing. "But this time im not losing you ethan so no matter what we are not ending things" i smile letting him go as he nods wiping his tears "i love you kyla" he smiled.

These panic attacks of his were never new to me, grayson always told me of how often he used to have them way back when we hated each other but now he said they have settled down. He looks down at me with a forced smile as i nod holding his chin up as Hannah walks in "hey- oh am i interrupting something" she asks as ethan shakes his head and walks out of the room as i watch him.

"Soooo" she says sitting at ethans desk as i shrug "what" i say "you and ethan again its been a month since you have dated him, but three months that you two have been on and off" she smirks "well to me we never stopped dating" i chuckle looking at my thumbs "even though i broke up with him 2 out of 5 times" i sigh "well" she says as i sit on my bed. "Look of course im going to go back to him hannah im still in love with him but were not dating" i roll my eyes as she claps repeatidly.

"So we are all going out to dinner you coming" ethan says as he notices me walking down the stairs "sure" i smile "when" i ask "seven" grayson replies as i nod and walk over to the kitchen checking my phone "5:42" i sigh as i close my phone and make macaroni and cheese "me too" ethan says as i chuckle "of course i dont make food for myself" i smile squeezing his cheek as grayson chuckles "dating again are we" he smirks as me and ethan look at each other "no" i pout "i wish" ethan adds on.

On the way to dinner Ethan and Me were in the front of the car since hannah was tired and wanted to lay down on grayson's lap, we walk into the resturaunt "oof" i say remmebering the last time i was here "grayson chose it" ethan sighed as i nod and wait for a waitress "back again" she winks at ethan who winka back as i clench my jaw "hurry up" i say through my gritted teeth quietly as she places us at our seats "anything for you again hot stuff"  she says biting her lower lip as i pull out my phone trying to not get annoyed "please not again" i sigh to myself quietly trying to hold back my tears, her literally said he was inlove with me. Then it happened, tears. "uh i need to go to the bathroom" I smile getting up holding back my tears and walked over to the bathroom.

I close the lid of the toilet and sit on it letting tears rush down my eyes, i always wore waterproof mascara due to stuff like this happening. I sat there sobbing hoping no one would hear me, after about 10 minutes i got up and straightened my hair and walked out "that was a while" Ethan smiled as i nod "manager asked to call" i lie and play with my thumbs. As the lady comes back with our drinks "uh raspberry and two colas and a beer" she says confused as everyone looked at me "sorry i just need it" i look down as ethan nods and hannah sighs "whats wrong now you only drink when your going into depression mode" she sighs as i shake my head forcing a smile.

"Im fine" i force out.

As everyone just went back on their phone, i was on my imessage scrolling through mine and ethans messages from like 4 years ago.

I love you

His simple words made me melt.

Your all i need

I look down and wipe the tears forming in my eyes. The waitress came back and flirted with Ethan as he flirted back

You ok you look down

Grayson messaged me as i swallowed my saliva and looked at him to force a nod and wipe my eye "so i see she was jsut a friend" the waitress pipes up as ethan looks back at me "no" ethan said "you act like it but hey who cares" she says as he nods "im sorry to interupt but i need to go to the bathroom so uh move" i say shoving past her and ethan and grabbing my phone tightly and slam the door closed and cry again. As i hear a knock on the door "Kyla" its was one of the twins and i knew it wasnt ethan "what grayson" i say sobbing "come on" he sighs "no" i say "i told the manager your gonna be in there for personal issues anyway" he says as i hear his feet walk off.

Next chapter is the same night.