Playing Criminal

16 - Confused

The students sitting there gave me a disgusted look which I ignored. However the next look I got was not easily forgotten.

When I spun around looking for my tray I found out what I’d tripped on and where I’d dumped the contents of my tray.

Becky.

Shit. I thought as I took in her steaming red face, the huge glob of tomato sauce running down her shirt and the bits of spaghetti adhered to random parts of her body. She was mad enough that I could have sworn her eyes were red.

Biting my lip, I gingerly stepped back. Oh god, not again…

“You bitch,” She intoned, her voice stiff and filled with hushed anger.

I gulped. “Sorry,” I shrugged my shoulders smiling abashedly.

“Fucking bitch,” I suppressed a whimper as Becky lashed out, grabbing hold of my t-shirt collar so tightly that my breathing was being constricted. “That first stunt of yours was the last warning. This time it’s fucking payback bitch.”

I winced at her rancid breath that fanned across my face as she leaned in close, harshly whispering to me.

A purplish vein throbbed at her temple.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck.

I. Am. So. Dead.

Meat. That’s all I am; Meat. Dead meat…

“Girls what do you two think you’re doing?” Never had I been so glad to hear Mrs. Murphy’s cold voice. “Clean up this mess this instant or Mr. Brighton will be hearing about this.”

Becky didn’t cast Mrs. Murphy a second glance. “Outside. Now,” She commanded, though there wasn’t much point to the order since she dragged me out by my collar anyways.

I felt like a dog with its tail underneath its legs: all shame.

I should be fighting back. I should do something.

For the first time in my life though I didn’t actually want to fight. There was no joy in it, no adrenaline rush-induced high, only fear and surrender sunk deep in the core of my stomach.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I automatically curled my hands up into fists, hoping the movement would stir some buried feelings of violence. And it helped kick some of the dust off, making me remember what you can only experience in a flight for fight situation. What you can only get from choosing fight.

By now we were a ways down the hallway and a crowd of people had drifted our way, watching our progression- looking for some real entertainment in this house of boredom.