The Sound of Silence (Previously I Know What You Did Last Summer)

{Twenty-Three} Please Believe Me When I Say

I knew he was only trying to lighten the mood, but it only made the knot in my stomach furl up even tighter.

Once he glanced down at the GPS I'd set up with the directions and took the final turn, he glanced out the window into the darkness and frowned.

"Why are we here?"

Rather than respond, I jumped out of his truck, nearly twisting my ankle in the process. I could feel him trailing along behind me as I made my way down the steps, nearly collapsing the moment I stepped into the coarse sand. I felt Colton fall into step beside me, and started to distance myself as much as possible just in case I couldn't handle this.

It was one hundred percent possible I wasn't ready to be doing this. It had been one of the coping exercises that Millie had suggested in our last meeting.

"Ave-" Colton began beside me, but I was somewhere far beyond where my body stood at his left on the sandy beach, the moon casting a soft light on what I had once thought was a beautiful ocean.

Now all I could hear was the echo of my screams.

As I looked away from the water and toward the pier, the little I'd eaten at lunch started to rise to my throat. There was a faint image of Kevin before me. He wore the same white v-neck that clung a little too tightly against his body and a pair of what I guessed were hundred dollar black swim trunks. At his side was a short blonde girl, one hand buried in her hair and the other fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she gazed up at the boy before her with such a look of awe it disgusted me. It appeared as if she was wearing nothing more than a tight red hoodie, though I knew there was a bikini beneath it.

"You don't go to a lot of parties, do you?" Kevin said to me with a laugh.

I giggled. "How'd you guess?"

"Because I've never seen you around before. And I know I would have remembered seeing a girl as beautiful as you at one of my parties."

"Avery." Colton's concerned whisper stirred me out of my thoughts. The image of the two teenagers faded and I was back beside Colton in the middle of the dark, deserted beach.

I threw a quick glance in his direction and couldn't help but stand memorized by the sight.

It wasn't that Colton was the most attractive man, he had his flaws like the rest of us. But in that moment, my brother's best friend looked almost angelic under the bright light of the moon.

His rust colored hair blew gently across his forehead with the light breeze. His blue eyes were glistening, flecks of gray floating throughout as he stared down at me with an expression somewhere between worry and confusion.

Oblivious to my staring, he crossed his arms over his chest, stretching the white leather jacket that clung tightly against him.

"I'm sorry." I eventually managed to get out, my eyes drifting toward the night sky. "I thought. . . I thought I was ready."

He touched his hand to my shoulder with an encouraging smile. "Just the fact you're able to stand here means that you've made progress, Avery."

There was a sense of comfort in my words that eased the churning in my stomach momentarily. I slowly lowered myself into the sand, feeling him follow my action shortly afterward.

I brought my trembling hand to my mouth to push my tears and anxiety back down and looked toward him.

"You and Landon were drinking with a few of the guys from the team and one of them challenged Landon to a chugging contest." My words made Colton shift uncomfortably. "I remember you saying that I shouldn't be left by myself at a party thrown by Kevin Marshall. You said there was a ton of alcohol which equaled a ton of drunk idiots, college and high school, that wouldn't leave me alone. I suppose you were right. But I don't blame you, Colton, not at all."

Colton stayed silent for a moment, staring out at the low tide as it crashed against the shore, before he shook his head and met my eyes.

"You shouldn't blame yourself either, Ave. It wasn't your fault."

I shrugged, clenching sand in my hand before watching it slip through my fingers. We sat there, the waves and wind exchanging words for a while before I spoke up again.

"We were just talking at first, friendly conversation. Of course, there was an occasional compliment from him. I thought. . . I was in such awe that someone like him was talking to a girl like me. For a while I felt special, like I was the only girl he saw, like I was the only girl in the world. But if I'd known. . . if I'd known what it would lead to I would have walked away the second he approached."

I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting it immensely when the image of Kevin hovering over me came into my line of sight.

I started breathing heavily, hugging my legs against my chest. Colton shifted, moving a little closer to me as I continued.

"He. . . he lead me over to the darker spot under the pier for more privacy, to get away from all the noise. There. . . there was so many red flags, Colton. I should have seen them."

Colton rested a hand on my shoulder, shaking his head. "It wasn't your fault, Avery." but I looked away. He let out a frustrated sigh, running his free hand through his hair, leaving excess sand in it, and said "Look at me, Avery." I do. "It isn't your fault. Don't ever think it was your fault."

I nodded but don't feel like I can say the words aloud-or believe them. I buried my hands in my hair on either side of my head and breathed out slowly. "He started kissing me. He tasted like alcohol." my breath caught in my throat as the memory started to resurface, Colton's comforting grip tightened a little as he whispered something about me not having to go on if I can't. But I did before I could talk myself out of it. "When I tried to pull back, he grabbed my waist roughly and pulled me closer, he. . . . he whispered that we were just messing around in my ear. But I wanted to leave."

I looked over at Colton, and for a moment all I  could see is Kevin slowly pushing me onto the ground, laughing. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, but the image didn't fade. I finally continued after a few minutes of silence. "There was a shard of glass from a broken bottle on the sand, and when he pushed me down, I fell right on to it." Colton realized what I was getting at right away and looked toward my side

I shook my head, tears swarming in my eyes and my throat closing again. Before either of us can say another word, Colton jerked around suddenly. My eyes followed his, only to regret it a moment later. I cried out, looking away.

A car had just pulled up beside Colton's and all I could do was pray that it wasn't Kevin Marshall.  

***AN***

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