I've Just Seen A Face

I've Just Seen a Face-21

I found a poem that had ticks all down the side, one of my dark days had elicited words of longing and sadness. Along with ticks was a huge smiley face in the corner, the fact John could see something good in all the bad made my emotions tip for a while. Silent tears and a sob escaped I hadn't cried for so long and it felt wrong as here with John I was happy, sated, safe, but just the knowing that he thought something I had jotted on paper was worthy made me truly happy with his smiley face.

I gathered up the little tape recorder I found in the corner and a brand new tape, ripping the plastic casing off and before I could double guess myself, I then sat at the piano, fingers hovering, millimetres from the keys.

I hadn't been the best student and never did my homework but what I had taken from being around George was that whatever you felt was right, whatever you thought was good, whatever you touched perfect.

As I tinkered and listened back to the tape again and again, I caught a virus, I was captured by the bug- creation, birth of new. I worked for 3 hours straight, I thought it had been about an hour so when I eventually realised the hour I was flabbergasted but brimming with happiness. And knowing I had made a basic piano tune to hold my words, phrased and held where I wanted them, where I thought they sounded warm and true to the heart was pure excitement.

I now understand what holds John, Paul, George and Ringo in the studio to all hours and then to be full of beans after all that to keep going, keep creating.

I gave up thinking about tunes and lyrics, I had tinkered til I was going round in circles, I felt safe with the sound the tape recorder had held in its little holder. I resigned for the day and put the papers and journal in a big heap together on the coffee table and left the recorder on the piano stool, it was quite bulky and I didn't want to scratch the table with the hard exterior.

The radio beckoned and Little Eva blasted out 'Locomotion' I was in the middle of 'jumpin back' when caught red handed, I had been screaming out 'Locomotion' and I swung round and there he was the stuff of legend, all the girl's dreams- my reality, Pauls worst nightmare on a bad day, smirking leaning nonchalantly against the door frame, slow clapping at my horrible singing and dancing. The John special then occurred, eyes crinkled and a smile wider than he ever showed in public, appeared overtaking the smirk and I went from embarrassed to elated in seconds.

Holding out his hands I leaped into him and we nearly toppled over, he kissed me soundly and I blushed over the revelation that I was a closet radio star, if I had had a hairbrush I would have completed the look.

"Your early!" I gasped as we recovered our footing, I was bouncing with adrenalin from the exercise and activity that had lit my brain all afternoon.

"It's 3am missy, you're up too late!" John lead me over to the deep blood red velvet sofa, he plonked down tired but happy.

"I'll fix a snack and tea" I bounded out of the room too quickly for John tiredly grabbing for my arms.

As I pottered around grabbing biscuits and brewing a pop of tea, I could hear him shuffling records, then the scrap of the door, the door beside the piano he would soon enough see the tape recorder, out of place on the...

"Why is this on 'ere?" John bellowed, down the short hallway.

I played dumb, but my tummy tingled with a mixture of equal level of excitement and fear, I flushed red recalling my little tape sitting within his fingers reach, one push and he would....

A piano was soon heard, then my voice faltering, wavering in my unsteady tilt. John had pressed the button and I heard him again drop to the sofa.

As I slowly rounded the corner with the tray of food, I stopped. The unfinished music was still playing and John was leaning back on the sofa, eyes shut tight, a tug of a smile hovering at the corner of his sweet mouth as my voice sang he would raise an eyebrow or form a frown, then as fleeting as the frown was there it was replaced with a smile, then eyebrow raising again.