Stall

Chapter 45.

Seeing the way he was with me since we walked inside my apartment, and seeing him bare that part of himself I could tell crippled him with fear, just so he wouldn't lose me, that I was important enough for him to do that was enough to cement that realisation.

I was a fool for him when I said he was only giving me crumbs, he's just handed me the whole bakery in regards to him and I may as well brand his initials on my heart.

Like I've always said when it comes to him, I've gone insane, and as far as I'm concerned he's my padded cell, lock me up and throw away the key.

Sanity is overrated anyway.

"Harry?" I ask, barely audible with how soft I'm keeping my voice.

This feels like one of our fragile glass moments, and I want to be a feather not a hammer in the situation.

"Yeah?" he croaks, his voice sounding raw from all of the feelings he tried to will back down his throat.

I stroke my fingers through the back of his hair, keeping my voice as calming as possible "We don't have to keep talking, maybe that's enough for today"

He shakes his head against my neck, sniffing and clearing our the croak in his voice "No I just, there's just a couple more things I need to say and then we can just...go from there"

He pulls his face back, sitting up straighter as I lean back to look at him but he keeps his arms around my waist, like he's desperate to still keep me close to him.

I feel like I have daggers coursing through me, seeing how wrecked he looks, the redness in his eyes and flush in his cheeks from whatever he just went through in his own mind.

I reach my hands up to swipe my thumbs over his cheeks, swiping away any residual moisture there and wishing all of the pain in him could go with it.

"Only if you're sure you want to" I say, unable to hide how sad seeing him so upset makes me.

"You sure you don't want to never see me again yet?" he asks cautiously, and I shake my head so fast it's embarrassing.

"I'm not going anywhere"

He tightens his arms around me, leaning forward to peck my lips before he leans back "Then I'm sure I want to"

I relax against him, leaning my head against his shoulder, with my legs sideways on the couch as I stay sat in his lap, and he rests his cheek against the top of my head.

I toy absently with the buttons on his shirt, listening to his breathing before he sighs and decides to speak.

"So, about my club..." he starts, and I just hum in response, content on listening.

"All that stuff I told you before, that's where it used to happen - in the cellar, or just the main bar if I had the place closed. But like I said, I don't do that any more. It still happens, it's just not me"

He let's out a deep sigh, rubbing his hand up and down my back while his other arm stays hooked around my waist, and I'm relieved that he seems so much more relaxed.

"I bought the club, originally, when I was twenty. Wanted a place where people like me could go, a place where we could forget how fucked up our lives were, even just for a night."

"It's certainly an interesting place" I reply, trying to lighten his mood slightly "Felt like I needed to baptise my eyes after I took photos that night"

Harry laughs deep in his throat, turning his head to press a kiss to my hair before resting his cheek back against it.

I love how content he seems talking to me now compared to earlier, now he realises I'm not going to abandon him over it. It's like all the stress in his body has melted away.