"It's not your fault." I didn't want Hannah to feel apologetic for something she couldn't control.

"I should have known better than to leave you alone with her," Hannah said. Her lips were pursed tightly.

"It's okay, you wouldn't have predicted it. I know I wouldn't."

"She's just so strange. I want to trust her, but I find it hard to," Hannah explained. "She plays too many games."

Hannah looked so sad and conflicted. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't the best at comforting someone. I wasn't sure how to. A part of me wanted to hug her, but I couldn't do it. It was too personal for me. Maybe someday, I could. I took a deep breath and I slowly reached out and held her hand. I've never held someone's hand before and I felt awkward doing it. I wasn't even sure how long I should be holding it. I need some kind of rule book on human interactions.

Hannah looked at me in shock, before a small smile graced her lips. Her hand felt soft and warm against my own. Other than my own awkwardness, it didn't feel bad.

"I...uhh...I don't know how long hand holding should last, so you might have to tell me."

Hannah chuckled softly. "I'll let you know."

I didn't realize how close we were until she laid her head on my shoulder. Somehow it didn't feel strange to me. It felt natural.

"Thanks," I said. "Oh, I remembered. I have to pay you back for lunch."

Hannah's eyebrow arched in confusion. "No, you don't. It's my treat."

"No, no, no. That's not how it works."

"And why is that?" Hannah lifted her head from my shoulder and tilted it to the side.

"Because...it goes against the rules." The explanation sounded strange once I said it out loud.

"And whose rules are they?" Hannah was still holding my hand and it made me wonder if hand holding was supposed to be this long.

"It's just because it's the rules." Maybe my childhood messed me up, but that was the rules. You were supposed to pay for the meal. It was about pride and generosity or maybe it's because it felt unbalanced like you were in debt if you allowed someone else to pay for the meal. This sounded so wrong now that I thought about it, but it was a type of mindset that I grew up with and it would be hard to change.

"If you feel that bad about it, why don't you take me out to dinner tomorrow," Hannah suggested.

"Oh...okay." That was a plausible replacement.

"Good, it's a date then." Hannah grinned as she gently squeezed my hand before releasing it.

"Yes, date." I slowly got up from the sofa. "I need to get some sleep because of the long day I had. Have a good night." I quickly ran to my room and closed the door behind me before she could say another word.What did she mean by date? Do friends go on dates? Why couldn't I be normal? I just wish I had the ability to understand people. I need to ask Jane.

****************
I knew I was going to be grumpy. I had a rough time sleeping because all I could think about was the date with Hannah. Could I call it a date? She called it a date. Jane was coming to the apartment to help me. I was so thankful for her. Luckily by the time I got up, Hannah was out of the apartment. She had a note on the fridge that she would be at fitting and wouldn't be back until 4 p.m. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge when I heard a knock at the door. I placed my water on top of the island and went to open the door. Jane grinning at me and in her hands were two drinks in a carrier.

RoommatesWhere stories live. Discover now