Friend Of The Dead

The Silence Before The Storm

It was a conspicuous side of her that was gone as soon as it came, but I noticed, and I worried, this didn't feel like the classic nostalgia one would experience when they're on the verge of graduation, it was something else, something perilous.

***

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case . . . a princess. When we were ten, they asked again and we answered — rock star, cowboy, or in my case, a gold medallist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this: who the hell knows?! This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; it's time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love — a lot. Major in philosophy 'cause there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be. . .we won't have to guess. We'll know."

It was a strange feeling. My stomach was doing pirouettes as I walked up the podium, as I shook hands with principal Greene, as I grasped the diploma and faced forward, and as I smiled, at Charlie's teary-eyed face, at Bella's beaming smile, at Tony's loud hollering, at Jessica and Angela's squealing, at Mike and Eric's whistling, at Dorian's lonely clapping in the back of the hall and his bright starlight eyes, at the students who were leaving home just like I was. Strange Sophie Swan graduated, despite the odds, despite the missing assignments, despite the days off school because of accidents and crashes and ghosts haunting me and lethal vampires throwing my vehicle into trees and headaches and bruised ribs and colds and days spent blocking myself from the world because the screams in my head were too much and the infinite amount of hours spent in my room because of sensory overload. Despite every twist and turn and monster the world sent my way, every excruciating pain, every scratch, every graze, every day walking on thinking how much Forks would be different if Athena had been alive, how much my life would have been different. Strange Sophie Swan graduated, despite every near-death experience, despite all the doubting thoughts I had towards myself, despite the guilt I carried at surviving, despite every problem, every puzzle, every and all the wrong things in my life, despite all of this, Strange Sophie Swan graduated.

For the first time in my life, I did the most mundane, humane act, I graduated, I wore the robe, I got the diploma, I smiled for the cameras.

And it left my world spinning, as I climbed down the stairs and locked my eyes with Dorian's blue-grey eyes across the room, and I realized just how much all of that pain and suffering had been worth it, how much it all was worth the way he was looking at me right now.

Like he'd been walking around in a wasteland all this time, and in my vulnerable, exhilarated, graduation robes-clad form, he'd caught a glimpse of what it was to live.

***

The Cullen's extravagant house is filled to the brim, wall to wall with teenagers. Dancing, sweaty bodies, teenagers drunk on alcohol and euphoria and the beat beneath their feet, once high school seniors now soon to be college freshman's celebrating the end of childhood and the beginning of adulthood. Alice has transformed the place into a magical nightclub.

Bella and I entered, immediately overwhelmed by the intensity of the party. We wove our way through the crowds, her in a beautiful red dress and me in my blue one, blending in with the rest of the dressed up people. Bella looked around, no doubt searching for Edward, but since I had no interest in spending the rest of the night stuck by their side, I walked off, and since Bella didn't want to be stranded, she followed me. She decided to stick by my side when she realized that Edward was in what appeared to be a serious conversation with Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett.