January 2011

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(PLEASE NOTE: This novel is now available as both a paperback and an eBook. For that reason I have had to remove it from Wattpad, apart from these first few 'teaser' chapters. Please either go to https://www.vivadjinn.com or https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1913873021 to obtain a copy of the final version in paperback or, for a Kindle ebook version, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08JS9DWPX instead. Thanks to all those who read, voted and commented on it here on Wattpad. The printed/ebook version incorporates a number of improvements.)

Cassie didn't want to be there. She looked up at her Grandad sitting beside her, at the tears in his eyes. She felt his hand shake as it held her own. She thought that maybe he didn't want to be there, either. Cassie also had tears in her own eyes and her hands trembled as well. She felt she'd had tears in her eyes for days. For just how many days? It was a Monday, the last day of January. That meant she'd been crying for seven whole days then. Every day since January the twenty-fourth.

But it wasn't over yet and she thought she'd probably be crying for many more days. Maybe she'd be crying from now until the end of time.

People were taking it in turns, getting up and saying things about her Mum. Some of the things they said were probably even true. But these people hadn't known Mum like she and Grandad had. They hadn't lived in the same house together for years as they had. They hadn't seen her Mum as she'd seen her: happy, angry, relaxed or stressed, and all the other things she remembered about her Mum since the earliest time she could recall seeing her. Very few of them had seen her in pain, or fading to a shadow, or crying with the knowledge that she couldn't hold on much longer.

Then Grandad stood up and made his way to the lectern. Cassie didn't want to look at him. Not because she didn't like looking at him. It was because, behind him, she would see the coffin. And that made her want to cry even more.

Her Grandad started speaking, and what he said echoed to Cassie more truthfully than anything that had come from any of the others. He said what she might have said if they'd let her. Or if she wanted. Maybe she did want to say things. But she was afraid they'd come out wrong and that people might laugh or tell her she remembered things wrong. But they wouldn't say that to Grandad, so Grandad spoke for her as well as himself. What he talked about was the Mum she remembered. The Mum she didn't want to forget. The Mum she would never see again.

Eventually, the saying of things came to an end and people got to their feet and started to file out of the place, this – oh, she didn't want to give it its name. Because she knew what happened here to the people who had died. She thought of the flames and how they'd burn through the flesh. At least they wouldn't do it while everyone was there. She thought she'd be screaming if they did. She knew how the flames felt – but only her Mum had known that Cassie knew about the flames. And now only Cassie knew.

Outside, it was sunny, though cold. She felt it ought to be raining. It always rained on TV when there was a funeral. Why wasn't it raining here? They were standing amongst the flowers that people had brought. There were lots of flowers. Cassie didn't like cut flowers – she knew they'd be dead soon.

People were coming up and talking to Grandad, holding his hand and saying more sad things. Sometimes they talked to her as well, but she just nodded and wished they'd go away.

The last of the people came out the exit. Amongst them were two women, both exactly the same height. The older one was dressed all in black, the younger one in a faded blue denim jacket and jeans. There was something familiar about them. The younger one looked at her, Cassie thought her face felt kind but also there was something there that made her think the woman was scared. The older one's face was harder, bruised on the forehead and filled with more shadows than just those that sat under her eyes. It reminded Cassie of how her Mum had looked near the end. The younger woman lifted a hand slightly and waved to her. Then she gave Cassie a brief smile before they both turned and walked away.

Cassie wondered who they were.


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