Eclipse Child |✔|

|62|

"I..."

Orion's face falls as he watches me.

"Soraya. What's wrong?"

I look away from his gaze. "Give me time Orion. I just need time."

"She needs her mother."

I shiver at his words.

I had heard those same words spoken to my own mother.

Give her time Soraya. Sandra had whispered them to me.

Just give her time.

I reach slowly for Tala, smiling up at Orion.

"You're right."

His relieved smile reaches me and eases away the panic I was feeling.

I hold Tala, staring down at her.

So perfect.

I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I look up, panic rising in me.

I couldn't hold her.

I couldn't hold her anymore- I needed-

"Give her to me Soraya."

I look up to see Leo.

He seemed to sense that something was wrong the moment he walked in.

"It's okay. I've held many children before. I'm a doctor after all," he laughs and gently takes her from my hands.

"Thank you." My words sound weak.

Leo watches me, his smile holding sadness in it.

Sadness I felt but didn't want to see.

I stumble out of the house, breathing in the air.

Immediately I'm greeted by pack members, those who are congratulating me still, weeks after Tala is born.

I need air. More air that I can breathe in silence.

I go to the edge of the woods, falling on the ground and shivering there. My arms come up to wrap around my legs, a rocking motion coming over me as I let my head fall to my knees.

Weak.

How pathetic was I?

I couldn't even hold her.

I couldn't touch her.

How could I tell Orion that I couldn't even touch our own child? Orion could. Orion was full of goodness and light.

I stare at my hands.

What would happen if I kept touching her? Would the darkness inside me seep through her skin?

The sins of my life will never go away...how can I touch her when I'm...I'm...

"What are you doing here?"

I look up to see a glaring Everett.

My blank stare only causes his scowl to darken.

"Shouldn't you be with your daughter?"

"I was. I just needed a second."

He huffs, leaning against a tree and crossing his arm.

"Some mom you are."

His comment causes tears to prick my eyes.

"Woah..." he pushes back, panic coming onto his face as he sees the reaction his words have caused.