Nowhere Is Safe (Daryl Dixon)

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Grace's POV

I don't know how long I've been out here. I've been searching all night. The group is probably worried about me but I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore.

  I haven't found anything or any clues about who shot Reagan. Reagan. When I think about her I feel a pang of sadness hit me. I warm tear slides down my cheek but I roughly wipe it away.

  No crying Grace. You are a big girl, big girls don't cry (Ha ha Fergie reference.).  I keep walking as sweat dripped down my face as the sun started rising. The weather in Georgia is just weird. I wipe away my sweat which was helping the blood that was on my face come off.

  A couple hours later the sun was in the middle of the sky, indicating it was getting closer to noon. I decide to turn around and head back to the farm. Hopefully the group doesn't think I'm dead or that I killed myself. As I'm walking back, I start to put things together. Every time I get close to someone, they get hurt or killed and I can't afford the sadness every time a loved one dies.

  I need to break up with Daryl. I don't know what I was thinking when I told Daryl that I would be his girlfriend. We weren't even that close, we barely knew each other and just because of my stupid feelings I decided that I needed a guy to love me at a time like this.

  I already have somebody who loves me. Shane. Oh god, Shane. I'm close to him and when he dies, I will die along with him. I just need to depart from everybody so I don't go crazy when they die.

  Hell, look at me now. I'm going crazy about Reagan's death because I got close to her. So, I'll just build up a wall to everybody no matter how bad it hurts.

  I start to recognize the trees and I know that I'm getting close to the farm. The walk was so long that it was now probably around two or three. I was exhausted but I didn't let it show. I wasn't going to give up looking for the person who shot Reagan.

  I come out of the trees and into the clearing of the farm. I didn't see anybody  outside so they must all be inside. I also notice the car we took to the bar was back so Herschel, Rick, and Glenn must be back.

  I walk up the porch steps and sit down in the rocking chair, the one I sat in the first night at the farm. I let out a sigh and look around at the scenery. Sooner or later this land is going to be filled with walkers and we're going to be overrun. Sooner or later, we're gonna have to run. Nowhere is safe. Every where we go, a group is going to attack or we're going to be overrun.

  The screen door creaks as it opens but I keep my eyes straight ahead of me. "Gracie?" My brother said. When I don't answer he says it again. "Gracie." He sounded relieved.

  "My name isn't Gracie, it's Grace." I said in a monotone voice. I slowly look at Shane. A look of hurt crosses his face and I feel a pang guilt but I quickly go back to being empty. The rest of the group comes outside and I stand up. They all look at me. "Grace!" Carl exclaimed and ran to me. He wrapped his small arms around my waist, but I don't hug him back I just stand there and stare at Shane.

  When I notice he's staring back I quickly look away and I direct my eyes back to the scenery. Everyone is silent, for now. Later I know they're going to be asking questions. I let out another sigh. "Grace, are you alright?" I hear Carol question. Here we go.

  "I'm fine." I spat at her. I turn to look at her expression but I catch somebody else's eyes. Daryl. There was a look of confusion on his face as if he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. But by his expression changing from confusion to frustation, I know he couldn't find anything.

  I look at Shane again before I remove Carl's arms from around my waist and I walk inside, upstairs into the room that I once shared with Reagan. I shove the thought into a bottle and put it in the back of my mind. I walk into the bathroom and I look at myself in the mirror. I'm kind of taken aback.

  This wasn't me at all. Before the world went to hell I admit the scars in my face made me look like shit. But now, I looked like a stronger woman. Even stronger than when I was in the military. Even though I was dirty and looked like a piece of shit, I looked stronger. My hair was longer, I have become more muscular.

  When I touch my hair, it feel like it's greasy. I decide I need a shower. I turn on the hot water but I leave the cold faucet alone. I take off all my clothes and I step into the boiling water. I wince at the burning sensation, but I enjoyed it because for once I wasn't thinking about the world, I was thinking about the pain of the hot water.

  I watched as all the blood, sweat, and tears came off of me and into the drain. But that moment didn't last long. I had to come out of the shower some time. I get out and wrap my towel around me. I leave my clothes on the bathroom floor and I walk into the room. I grab some underwear and a bra and put it on. I then put on a tank top and some jeans and my combat boots.

  I grab my gun and my knife and put it in the holster around my waist. I walk back in the bathroom and grab the scissors in the cabinet. I grab my wet hair and start chopping it off to the point where the end was at the top of my breasts. I grab a comb and start combing through it. When I was satisfied I walk back into the room after cleaning up my hair off the floor.

  I walk back outside and start heading back into the woods when I hear the familiar southern drawl start calling my name. I walk faster but he ends up catching up to me. His hand grabs my shoulder and spins me around. While he was doing that I had grabbed my knife and when he spun me around I had my knife up against his throat.

  "Woah hot shot, calm down." Daryl said. I remove my knife and put it back in its sheath. I turn back around and continue my journey to the woods. "Grace wait!" He shouted. "What do you want Daryl?" I asked, irritated. "What's your problem?" He questioned.

  "I don't have a problem, but you're gonna have one if you don't leave me be!" I shouted back as I kept walking. He still followed. We were in the woods now.

  "Hey! I'm still talking to you!" He shouted, loudly may I might add. "Yeah, your voice carries." I said the same thing I said to Merle. Daryl scoffs but still follows.

  "Why are you being like this Gracie?" He sighed. "Shut up!" I yelled. He looked taken aback that I shouted at him. "Would everyone stop calling me Gracie! My name is Grace!" I finished.

  "Stop! Stop building up walls Grace. Don't pull away from me. Please." Daryl pleaded. I almost gave in, but I didn't. "Maybe I've had walls built up the whole time. You haven't broken them down! You left a scratch, that's all you did! My wall has been up since I was seven." I said the last sentence quietly.

  "There somethin' you wanna tell me?" He asked. I stay silent. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Why don't you just go back to your perfect life with your happy brother and rich daddy and your perfect mommy!" He said, his voice raising.

  I look at him in disbelief. I nod my head. "You want to know my story? Little daughter lost her perfect mommy at six in a car wreck because of me. Rich daddy blamed little daughter because he had nobody else to blame. Rich daddy then became broke and happy brother had to become a cop and little daughter had to become a stripper so she could pay now poor daddy's bills. Little daughter lost her virginity at twelve to some man on the street so she could get twenty bucks for dinner to eat because her and now sad brother were starving. Now depressed daughter just stayed in her room until she was fourteen because poor daddy now became abusive daddy and beat her every night while sad brother was off at work to pay bills. At twenty years old depressed daughter turned into tough daughter had to go join the Marines to get away from abusive daddy. One year later abusive daddy forced her to quit the military and come home. You think you know people Daryl, you don't so stop acting like you know me because you don't." I explained before walking away, further into the woods.