Instructions for Surviving Burning Cities

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Part 12,766 of The Manual For Everything by Ryan

1. Go around burning cities. They aren't generally good places to be and you can find yourself in a lot of problems if you do not. If you do this then the other 9 steps will become obsolete and you will be safe.

2. Do not freak out. The burning townspeople who should be dead, but aren't for some unknown reason (probably a rare form of a genetic mutation that allows the skin to be burned but nothing else), will notice you if you do. Anyone they notice soon becomes part of the flame that surrounds the townsfolk.

3. Do not make eye contact. They take this as a threat and a challenge. If you do however look one of them into the eyes, you should pray that you are faster than they are, as outrunning them is your only chance of survival unless you possess both the ability to regenerate lost limbs and have super strength.

4. Do not get lost. Stay on the main road at all cost. Every fire looks alike unless you have an eidetic memory. Then it would be suggested that you avoid falling buildings and burning rats. Their smell is so awful it should be considered toxic. Perhaps they are.

5. Stay far away from downtown. The heart of a city is always the worst place to be during an apocalypse. Also, it is often where the empress presides over her home and she doesn't enjoy the company of outside visitors.

6. Beware of random attacks as they can and will happen. While they cannot be burned by their own flames, you can.

7. Stay focused. Running through burning cities is a dangerous endeavor. Especially with a zombie-like populace hunting you. Do not get distracted.

8. On that note, it is also helpful to beware of burning children. They are much more agile than the adult brethren. They also can cause random flashbacks of siblings who were murdered and those can be paralyzing which can quickly lead to death when you are fighting off a killer child.

9. When trying to escape from the other side of the city, it is important to remember that you are the Mudlands. Where it is extremely hard to climb up hills and even harder to run up them. The burning people have better luck with this as they can scorch the mud dry. You must be exceedingly resourceful in your escape. Ripping off a villagers' arm and using it as a torch would do you well.

10. Stick together. It takes an unkillable ninja girl and a hammer-wielding genius to fend off an entire city. If you get separated you cannot rely on each other for support. Remember where one fails another can succeed.

Of course, it is always wiser to just follow the 1st instruction and save yourself from the hassle and the pain of burning cities. So, please do yourself a favor and...

...GO AROUND BURNING CITIES.

The soft thumps of combat boots on the dirt floor were very close

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The soft thumps of combat boots on the dirt floor were very close. Now, Alyssa actually needed to put the file back. If they heard her speedy retreat they could trace the file on the floor back to her. Alyssa tried shoving the file in, but the stack above the place where hers belonged was simply to thick and heavy. The watchwomen was getting closer. If Alyssa didn't escape soon she would be found and probably executed for treason against the Sisterhood. With no other options, Alyssa knocked the pile down. She thrust her papers inside as the mountain fell papers flying everywhere and ran out the back door and back to the safety of her cabin. 

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