I must have died that same moment my darling, I have no recollection of picking you up from where you laid. I do not remember carrying you, running madly and frantically to the nearest hospital.
I felt alone in the emergency room, when all of a sudden, I felt Nanay's hug from the side.
"Anak, andito lang si Nanay." She tearfully said.
Ang mommy ni Denise ay andito na din, kasama si Ate Nadine at Eileen. Agad akong nilapitan ng mga ito. Denise's mom was stopped by one of the nurses, kinausap ito ng nurse. May pinafill out silang form sa mommy ni Denise.
Hinahabol ko pa din ang hininga ko, mahirap gawin habang umiiyak. I collapsed in my Nanay's arms. Trying to calm myself down. Trying to hold back the tears that escaped from my eyes as Nanay rubbed my back. Trying to soothe my worries. She hums a familiar tune. Pagbabalik by Asin. The first song she taught me how to play. The first subversive song I heard and sparked my love of history and country.
The whole world seemed to have stopped for me as I remember her last words for me before she closed her eyes. Nanay couldn't have picked a better song to hum. It always calmed me to hear her hum or sing me a song right now it's no different. I felt myself calm down, my ragged breathing subsided at once. I listened to Nanay's humming ito lang ang pinagtuanan ko ng pansin. Hanggang nakahinga na ako ng maluwag. When she felt me stop from hyperventillating, she pulls away from the hug and wipes my tears.
"Tumahan ka na Humaling. Magiging okay din si Denise." Nanay spoke to me.
"Lakasan mo ang loob mo Maling." Eileen said to me.
"Oo nga Maling, malakas si Denise. Hindi yan bibitaw." Ate Nadine said.
Tumango lang ako at tahimik na nag-dasal sa kinauupuan ko, sabi nila pag daw nagdadasal ako, lahat daw ng dasal ko natutupad. Kung kaya yung ibang mga kaibigan ko, pinapaki-usap nila na ipagdasal ko sila palagi. Pare-pareho kaming tahimik na naka-upo sa waiting area ng Emergency Room. Maya-maya pa dumating si Tatay kasama ang Daddy ni Denise. Inakap ako ni Tatay at ng Daddy ni Denise as he said to me.
"Salamat anak sa pag-dala mo kay Denise sa ospital." Daddy Ernesto whispered as he held me against his chest.
Naupo na si Tatay sa tabi ni Nanay, si Daddy Ernesto naman ay naupo sa tabi ni Mommy Virginia. Nakatulala lang ako sa kawalan, I don't know what to do and what to think. I needed to go out and smoke to calm myself down. I looked at Ate Nadine as well as Eileen. Ate Nadine suddenly stood up at nag-paalam siya kela Nanay at Tatay.
"Tatay, Nanay. Magpapasama lang po ako kay Humaling, medyo nagutom na po ako bigla eh." She said to Nanay and Tatay.
"Sige Anak, mag-iingat kayo ha?" Nanay said.
"Mom and Dad, We'll just buy some food, do you guys want anything?" Ate Nadine asked them.
"Ayos lang kami Nadine. Bumalik kayo agad." her Dad said.
"Yes, dad." Nadine smiled and went out the emergency room, we were waling side by side.
"Alam ko gusto mo nang magyosi." Ate Nadine said.
"Uhm yeah, thanks." I said to her.
We went to the Hospital's smoking area, I lit up my cigarette.
"Wag kang mag-alala, magiging ok din si Denise. I know so." She said.
"Ate, I want to live with her and have kids with her, hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko sakaling hindi siya mabuhay."
"Wag mong sabihin yan Maling." She said to me as she lit a cigarette herself.
"Sana nga tama ka ate."
"Matigas ang ulo ni Denise, pakakabahin ka, naalala ko nung mga bata pa kami, na-comatose sya, dahil naaksidente yung school bus namin, apat na buwan siyang comatose, wala yata akong tigil sa pagdadasal nun na sana mabuhay ang kapatid ko. Kawawa naman siya, she was only 5 then." Ate Nadine said as she takes a drag from her cigarette.
"Apat na buwan?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"Yep, apat. Akala ko mamamatay na siya. Then the last day we were supposed to take off her life support, I spoke to her in the morning, sabi ko gumising na siya dahil tatanggalin na namin sya sa life support at kung hindi pa sya gising bago tanggalin ang life support nya mamamatay na sya." Ate Nadine smiled weakly she sighed and continued.
"Sabi ko, kung mabuhay lang sya, lahat susuportahan ko, kaibigan, desisyon at love life. Then she opened her eyes. Nagakatitigan kami ng Five year Old Denise, ang saya ko nung araw na yun." She said smiling of the memory.
"Okay. Kaya pala close siya sa iyo at sa parents nyo." I said.
"Kaya naniniwala akong magiging okay siya. Maniwala ka Maling." She said smiling.
Pagtapos naming magyosi, bumili muna kami ng burger at fries sa Mcdonald's at Vanilla Iced coffee. Bago kami bumalik sa emergency room. Di ko na alintana ang dugo na.kumapit sa itim na tshirt ko at pantalon.
We got back to the emergency room. Hawak ni Ate Nadine ang mga binili namin, I had to wash my hands first dahil puno ito ng dugo. I sat with Ate Nadine when I got back to the emergency room. My thoughts are with Denise again. Ayaw kong isipin na kritikal ito ngayon, kaya inalala ko na lang ang aming mga ala-ala. I sat silently as Ate Nadine munched on some fries. She handed me my iced coffee. I took a sip as we waited for the doctor's update. Eileen was sitting beside me.
"Maling, maraming salamat sa pagtakbo mo kay Denise sa ospital." I heard Eileen say.
"Wala yun Eileen." I said as I smiled weakly at her.
She pats my hand and looked at me reassuringly. I could only nod as we waited. Umuwi na din muna si Nanay upang dalan ako ng damit na pampalit sa suot ko ngayon. Kung hanggang kailan ako maghihintay, bahala na.
A/N:
Maraming salamat sa suportang ibinibigay nyo sa akin everytime I write stories. Sometimes, I don't know how to stop writing. Tulad na lang ngayon. 😂
This chapter is dedicated to rastroheart, naway mabuti naman ang naging celebration ng 18th birthday mo boss. 😂
See you on the next chapter. 😂
Spread light and love!
-Sky
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2103: Martial Law (Love in Dark Times)
Fanfiction"All I knew was, if you lived another day, I shall marry you." Set in the year 2019, where the current President Rodrigo Duterte announces Martial Law. Two Student Activists, amidst chaos and despair. Could they survive? Is love ever enough to come...
