Asher ✓

50 | deal

JULY 1, 2016 / B. WILLARD LIBRARY

How did one look at someone they've seen naked, screaming in pleasure, and pretend they were just friends again?

That was Asher's most pressing dilemma that sweltering morning, where he and Ryanel had planned to meet in the blissful, air-conditioned reprieve provided by the student library on campus.

Ryanel was poring over the blueprints and rudimentary research Asher had hastily drawn up since inspiration struck him. There were a few sketches of various prosthetic designs, seven pages on bio-engineering research and a heartbreakingly extensive list of materials and their hideous costs.

But Asher could only focus on the stray lock of hair falling into Ryanel's eyes, the smooth expanse of tanned skin on his exposed forearms, the way he chewed his plump bottom lip as he perused the documents.

Fuck, this was going to be a mission.

"Looks like you've been busy since . . ." Ryanel caught himself, his eyes widening nervously, like Asher might explode into another tantrum. "Really busy."

Maybe any day earlier than this, he would have. 

But it had been a tortuously long week of crying, stalking Ryanel's Snapchats and overthinking every place he went, who he might be holding, with what memories he might be filling the corner in his heart once reserved by Asher. 

Yes, it was safe to say, he'd had enough of the paranoia, the desperation and the hurt.

Between the breakup — which cost him his best friend — the gruelling physical therapy — which reminded him of his physical loss — and the cold dread around not earning an income anymore, Asher had so much to try to not think about that he'd thrown himself wholly into his research and ideating.

"Well, I have a lot of free time now that I don't need to train. It doesn't even feel like work, I'm really excited about this," Asher explained, hoping the forced smile on his lips was convincing.

Ryanel's eyebrows stayed furrowed in concern for a brief second, before he seemingly accepted Asher's newfound joy. "I would be, too. I mean, I am. This is amazing. But I don't know why you're talking to me about this. I'm not majoring in bio-engineering."

"You're right," Asher quipped, "I guess I'll have to hit up my other engineer buddies. When they get back from Mars."

Ryanel chuckled, the vibrant sound sending pangs of longing through Asher's chest. "Okay, fair enough. I can put you in touch with the people you need."

You're the people I need.

"That'd be great. But I'd still like your expertise on it. I mean, I think I'll need software engineers and mechanical engineers on this as well."

"Why don't we just get the whole faculty in on it?" Ryanel joked.

"One can dream."

The two chuckled lightly, before the reality of their relationship settled down on them again. Ryanel asked tentatively, "Are you sure working with me is the best idea?"

Asher appreciated Ryanel's concern. 

He was obviously wanting to make the healing process easier, and Asher knew if putting more distance between them meant for a better long term outcome, well, he might never get his best friend back again. Ryanel was so controlled, so reasonable that he'd force himself away for Asher's sake.