university | lrh

35 - something real

Luke Hemmings
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I haven't felt nervous with a girl in a very long time.

Even when I was with Sidney, nearly 5 years ago, the nerves were never there. Our days and nights together always seemed to mesh into one. Every night out was the same, and every day we spent was hardly memorable.

When I first approached her, it was easy, planned, even. I knew what I wanted, and god knows the girl knew exactly what she wanted. I let her lead the relationship, to make me out to be exactly what she expected of me. In all honesty, I hadn't minded it in the beginning, because all I had to do was follow her wishes, and everyone praised me like I was some kind of godsend in the form of a college boyfriend.

But it wasn't real. By any means.

We were a photograph, a moment in time, posed and lifeless. And it took me a long time to realize how badly I craved something real, something beyond a snapshot.

A picture couldn't do Elise justice. She's too full of life, and love, to be reduced to one moment in time. A picture isn't necessary, for her, because there are no blurred moments, no memories with her that I could forget.

Because each day, each moment I spend with her, is something new, something exciting. She surprises me, her actions, her words; they're so real and unplanned, it all still makes my heart race every time. She's so unlike Sidney, so completely her opposite, in every way, and it's perfect.

Elise has never asked for anything, of me or from me, but I kind of really want to give her everything.

"Luke,"

I haven't been nervous like this in so long, but this is a special day, for a special girl, and the absolute last thing I could dream of is disappointing her.

Even though you know she would never ask for anything more.

"Luke."

Why is your heart beating so fast? Calm down, weirdo.

"Luke!"

I freeze, pausing my movements to look back down at the girl grasping my hand in both of hers, about ready to smack myself over the head.

Nice going, you don't wanna disappoint her so you ignore her calling you?

"Dumbass," I mutter to myself before looking at Elise's amused grin that she's trying to hide. "Fuck, sorry, what's wrong?"

She looks like she's biting back a laugh. "You're walking so fast, it's stressing me out."

"Stressing you out." I murmur, still slightly trapped in my own head.

She giggles, shaking her head the tiniest bit at my cluelessness. "Yes, because I'm 5 feet tall and I have to take about 4 steps to keep up with those." She gestures to my legs and I narrow my eyes at her.

"They aren't that long."

"Yeah," she laughs. "And it's not my birthday today."

I shake my head, suppressing a grin of my own as I wrap an arm around her to pull her tight to my side. "You're funny today, aren't you?" She just giggles and tilts her head further into me. "But fine, I'll slow down, for you," I run my hand down the length of her arm. "Just a little."

"How thoughtful."

I raise a brow, spinning her to stand in front of me. "You want thoughtful?" I give her sides a squeeze. "I'll carry you."